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Using the environment to describe mental health💙

6A9D8BEF-6C91-4473-8A93-A64DAE08D7C7.jpegDeveloping skills 📝

I took some rather splendid photographs of Central London this week for my research portfolio which I plan to use to describe mental health using the environment as a visual perspective.

How does this work? 

You travel to a place that means something to you personally. It can be local, abroad, or even in your own home.

You take a photograph of that place. They say every picture speaks a thousand words! 

So what do we do next . . .

Any ideas? 

1. Look at the photograph above. Just look at it. Take in all the information visually. Really feel the historical vibe and the patterns of Shakespeare’s famous Globe Theatre. What does the photograph represent? Imagine what you believe is inside that building. This is an exercise designed to look at our inner selves and is a critical thinking exercise. Everyone will have a unique perception of what they feel would be inside. . . So really take a look at it. What does the building mean to you?

How does this relate to mental health do you ask?

This is when we come to step two:

2. Write down all the emotions and feelings you believe this building contains within its frame work. Write down what you believe inspired the architects to design this building in a certain way.

3. What did you learn from doing this exercise?

💙

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The Neurology of Mental Health

I sit and I wait, and sigh

A dreamer to the observer

A loner to the other eye

My brain slithers

So effortlessly

Through many comparisons of mood

Yet no one understands

The pain.

The headache

The disorganised spelling

Normal speech and a thousand words

Cannot heal this awful curse

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A Special Kind Of Project

Okay, so I had a mental breakdown although little did I know it would open opportunities and possibilities for me to develop myself even further. I’ve learnt so much from aspiring people who are interested in the way I write and have a new advertising project to contend with. To focus on writing makes me forget about what’s wrong with me and think about my worth and capabilities. I want to create a survey designed for employers and managers to find out their views on mental health to get more people with mental health issues in positions that suit their needs rather than be looked at as the label of a mental health condition. I hope to accomplish this by the summer and create my own advert and mental health media website with my own designed templates for better mental health recovery. I’ve been working through my DBT books and been using critical thinking exercises so I can shape my future and get back into work and achieve my goals. Why should I apologise for being unwell at a time I was suffering. Suffering so openly. Suffering on my own because the small minds wanted to break me. Why do I want to be like those negative people. I’m essentially a positive person but with a throwback of trauma except this just shapes my mind to believe in better in myself and next time to be more careful in who I associate with to avoid another crisis. I’m better at working independently but we all have different skills and attributes. No two people are the same.

Just a typical daily life note.

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Borderline Personality Disorder and Relationships

Here’s another post on being in a relationship with a borderline. Borderlines are loving, they like routine and consistency because it balances their moods, thoughts and emotions. They can often seem socially inept but want to socialise without having the necessary interactive skills to because they were so deprived of these skills as children that they grew up with a different outlook on the world. Relationships can be triggers if they are hurt. They can be stable if you respect and love them. They may experience intense pain and distress and their brains may run at a thousand miles per hour in their writing commitments but in the age of social media and social technology is this necessarily a bad thing? Borderlines could be great for business except they attract narcissists because narcissistic individuals have learnt to shut off their emotions and intentionally manipulate others emotionally as they feed off the suffering of others which activates the dopamine in their brains giving them that sense of power – like a mouse loves cheese – a narcissist will attract an empath… but what happens next??

 

The empath will begin to know something isn’t right; the narcissist will flood them with false beliefs by getting to know them more and more and use their weaknesses against them and their past experiences because they know the borderlines have limited support network because of how they are as people. As soon as the narcissist has got the borderline in a position of trust they will switch the situation around on the borderline and make out that the borderline refused to let go. The borderline will then analyse the psychological manipulation of the narcissist and blame themselves until they self-destruct. They will then be seen as manipulative as before they can prevent becoming out of control they will experience intense anger and pre-occupation with the narcissist. There’s no time limit on how long this will last but once the borderline has hit a mental health crisis they know the brain has activated extra activity and they know it has become absorbed. The narcissist will appear stable to his/her peers, point to the borderline and say “I told you she/he was crazy.” The borderline will begin to experience dissociations, the borderline will start to feel suicidal, the borderline will lose all senses but the narcissist doesn’t know how to love because they’ve suppressed their capacity to. Normal people don’t believe such psychopathy exists but it does. The borderline will absorb the narcissist traits during the relationship trigger but the effects will only be noticed once the relationship has ended.

Why do borderlines attract narcissists?

 

Both narcissist and borderlines have good and bad qualities but the difference is borderlines want love and fall in love easily and appear emotionally available and narcissists pretend to love and appear resilient – that’s how they manipulate. Manipulation isn’t intentional in the borderline – it’s a representation of severe pain but why do borderlines attract narcissists?

The most simple answer is because the narcissist has the strong demeanour the borderline wants – hence the saying opposites attract. The borderline can’t help but want deprived love where as the narcissist wants to be able to control and manipulate.

Everyone has narcissistic traits – it’s not always a bad thing. The positive traits are striving for success, we all want prosperity right? Who doesn’t?

Real narcissistic people love death. Death doesn’t bother them. They are so numbed from their emotions that they have a hard time feeling anything. If you ever go against a narcissist – prepare for others to turn against you. The narcissist already painted a picture of you and allowed you to go crazy before you had the chance to defend yourself.

Protect yourself. Don’t overuse the term. Remember. Real manipulation is subtle.

 

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How do we increase our awareness of our selves?

How do we build upon our self-esteem?

  • Write a list of what you value about yourself and how you can make a difference to other people’s lives
  • Write down a list of characteristics you want and believe you already have them
  • Write down a list of positive achievements and attributes you’ve created in your life and how you created them as this will keep the mind focused on creating new ideologies
  • What are your hobbies? Do you confirm to the individual beside you or do you trust your own intuition?
  • If you could have any career you want what career would you choose?
  • Define yourself, take the pen, make a work of art 🖼
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Positive activities completed this morning 💓

Just a normal day, I woke up, made myself a tea, and did some anagrams to gain interpersonal skills and allow myself to think better cognitively. Which lead me with an idea:

1. Create a spider diagram of one descriptive word in the centre that describes your core personality and create anagrams of all those leaves that stem from the descriptive word that you create. Write them down.

2. Write a paragraph of how you felt about yourself and what you discovered about yourself.

3. Looked at my diary and took my sertraline and listed things to do today in a specified time-frame

4. Completed critical thinking exercises from worksheets I printed

5. Wrote in my CBT record

This is how I grow 💙

 

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Reasons to stay alive by Matt Haig 💓

My experience with depression related illnesses is that it comes from the brain or the tiny centre of the nucleus accumbens…In September 2018 I experienced a whirring inside of my brain 🧠 like my head had literally been shoved in a washing machine and I couldn’t make out what was right or what was wrong anymore – the outside world seemed different, like I could see the world in a total different way. It was like a switch had flickered in my brain and my brain was just a whizz of electric current.

I’ve started to read this book called “Reasons to stay alive” by Matt Haig based upon his own experiences with depression and how he managed to get through it – it was a book I came across when I was suicidal. I thought no healthy mind understands the biological mechanisms of a mental health illness so I have to try my best to get myself through the worst although at this point I couldn’t read properly or concentrate but I could express information and knowledge I had no awareness of ever learning and started to create new fascinating ideas – this was when they said it was borderline personality disorder. I was convinced it was depression because I was so suicidal but because of my “positive” core personality traits rather than the way I was feeling or presenting at face value the depression side went unnoticed so I surrendered to what I believe would help me recover which was try my best at self-help worksheets.

This passage of the book struck a chord with me because I felt exactly the same and it’s comforting to listen to another’s story based upon similar experiences. I hope this lightens another’s soul too…

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The broken moon 🌒

What is the meaning of an eclipse?

Is it a partial disturbance of evil covering the light of the stone’s soul?

What is the meaning of night?

Is it to rest our bodies or minds?

What is the meaning of the holes on the moons surface?

Does it emphasise the holes we carry within our hearts?

What is the meaning of a broken soul?

An awareness that there’s a missing piece – a missing part of you that you can’t comprehend. . .

But it’s always the same moon. The same moon we all look up to.

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What does remembering trauma feel like?

Trauma – many of us have gone through a lot in our lives but when do our traumas consume us? When they have a significant impact on our day to day functioning.

Triggers can be anywhere. A survivor of trauma can develop coping mechanisms when their brains go into overdrive during the fight/flight response and appear angry but not be an angry person.

Triggers can be environments, sights, smells, or people resembling the trauma you experienced. The reason why perpetrators get away with it is because of  the victims defence mechanisms – sometimes you can get nightmares, missing words out in texts, intense distressing feelings and rely heavily on prescription medication.

In complex PTSD the survivor normally has preoccupation with the abuser for a period of time when trying to process their interpersonal trauma within the memory consolidation process.

Be kind, these people require support – you never know what someone has been through until you walk in their shoes.

 

 

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Be worthy

You’re Worthy 💙

Grow

Let Others

Define Your worth

Allow others to

Destroy you, but don’t

Let them

Be that broken piece

Forgive those who played with your mind

Begin Again

You are suffering, I see

But . . .

You failed, I understand

Now read it bottom up !! 💕📝

 

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A poem that was published when I was a child 📝

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Clouds ⛅️ Phrases & All

Clouds are just floating thoughts, soft marshmallows in a sky that reflects the colour of the sea.

Clouds move in synchronisation with the rotation of time; communicating with the sun and the moon.

Clouds are the weather system of our emotions; a visual perception from the inner eye’s gaze.

Clouds can turn dark and clash causing thunder, an argumentative occurrence in mid air.

But what are clouds?

Clouds are just that. Clouds. Their shades aren’t on a rainbow spectrum, just water frozen in time.