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A month on sertraline

My symptoms have calmed down a lot since being on the sertraline and limiting contact with the negative people who hurt me in my past. I’m doing what’s necessary for my health as not many people understand the way our experiences can consume us. I managed to get my negative symptoms under control through drama therapy and creative therapies. The traumatic rememinders were new and I think both of them together created a morph of delusion – someone that wasn’t me. I often think why on earth would adults intend to bring me down. Doctors even said to me “You had your own place right?” Yes because I was homeless years ago. That’s insignificant. It’s in the past. I was made homeless because I had nowhere to go and no support network but why would I intend to hurt another human being? I wouldn’t. I get afraid in relationships – afraid of being hurt. I witnessed long term abuse as a child and I grew up wanting to help others so chose the psychology degree and paid £200 for a mind course at the head quarters in London in 2018 to exercise my skills and awareness on mental health. It wasn’t until I made a silly mistake and fall poorly with a new mental health issue that I realised something was wrong. I fall still and breakdown just like any other human being… although the Sertraline is fabulous for me at the moment.

Hey, we are all on a journey. Life is hard for us all in some way or another. Except I have no one. But it’s peaceful. I suppose I like the way wind blows when you’re in isolation and the way the rain falls on my window pane. I suppose I feel comfortable knowing I’ve always got me and always got my back. Some people call it loneliness I call it safety and solitude 💗

 

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Emotions equal strength 💕 A creative piece.

I’m strong in myself. I tell myself that everyday. In between working through my self help books I’m writing blogs, creating new poems, new writing, new ideas, healing myself emotionally by letting the emotions out and not being afraid to shadow them to the outside world through writing. I’m not afraid to be alone. It’s peaceful. I’m comfortable with releasing my emotions healthily. I’m grateful I’m building myself a path. I’m grateful that the experiences I have endured has given me more of a reason to survive and to make something better of myself. I’m grateful for that because without the awareness I wouldn’t have the hope I do now. You may feel damaged at this point in time but this is an in the moment concept. It’s not real. It’s a delusion. This is just a false memory. This is just your brain coming to terms with recent events. This is just your brain processing experiences converging with the memory consolidation process. This is just your brain’s negative automatic thoughts that doesn’t have any association with your heart and personality. This is just your brain. The world is becoming clearer and clearer. Be comfortable.  💗