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Self-reflection and creative ideas

Many people ask me where my creative ideas come from. They come from my experience, the come from the fireworks of chemicals zapping through my fragile mind.

Am I ashamed of this? No. Why should I be?

Its not about what is wrong with us, it’s about how we can improve our own mental health and wellbeing without affecting those around us. We all can’t have the same opinions. It’s like when people judge your past and assume you would grow up to be a negative individual searching for more pain to add to your life that you’ve already experienced.

This isn’t true. If it was – nearly everyone would have broken down and lost themselves completely by now. Sometimes we don’t even realise our strengths until we are thrust in the darkness, neglected, having that ambition for a better and prosperous life.

Keep going. Because it will happen.

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Mental Health Gift Boxes

I’m designing mental health gift boxes using my own creative abilities to give others some light on a solemn day…

Each gift box will contain an acrylic painted canvas with an improvised feel good poem written by me, two surprise gifts and two arts and crafts goodies for the rainy days at £9.95 per box with 5% of profits going to a charity of the individual’s choice.

Formalising a plan, message me for more details if interested to add to the list.

♥️

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Thankful what I have 💗

I’m alone in the world. I’m about to embark on a journey to the Scottish Capital within a month. Wanting an education and a degree meant so much to me and I messed that up for myself by getting involved with toxic people and can only get a year funding so appealing it. Anyone should be entitled to an education if they really want it. I need to get back into socialising in a positive community again and I may have skills but I need practical life skills and to be around my siblings. I’m literally estranged in England with no one and have to give up everything I worked for but I’m thankful for the positive experiences. Sometimes a mental health crisis is beyond our control and it’s okay not to be okay.

I’m proud of myself for getting this far anyhow and looking forward to building a new future 💗

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What does remembering trauma feel like?

Trauma – many of us have gone through a lot in our lives but when do our traumas consume us? When they have a significant impact on our day to day functioning.

Triggers can be anywhere. A survivor of trauma can develop coping mechanisms when their brains go into overdrive during the fight/flight response and appear angry but not be an angry person.

Triggers can be environments, sights, smells, or people resembling the trauma you experienced. The reason why perpetrators get away with it is because of  the victims defence mechanisms – sometimes you can get nightmares, missing words out in texts, intense distressing feelings and rely heavily on prescription medication.

In complex PTSD the survivor normally has preoccupation with the abuser for a period of time when trying to process their interpersonal trauma within the memory consolidation process.

Be kind, these people require support – you never know what someone has been through until you walk in their shoes.

 

 

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Be worthy

You’re Worthy 💙

Grow

Let Others

Define Your worth

Allow others to

Destroy you, but don’t

Let them

Be that broken piece

Forgive those who played with your mind

Begin Again

You are suffering, I see

But . . .

You failed, I understand

Now read it bottom up !! 💕📝

 

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Signs of emotional abuse – health and social care

I thought I’d do a post so others can identify the effects/aftermath of emotional abuse in others that I learnt on my health and social care course.

  1. Becoming upset easily
  2. Preoccupation with the abuser
  3. Questioning of self-sanity
  4. Isolation/Losing friends
  5. Unexplained Anger
  6. Irritability
  7. Behaviour Change
  8. Loss of interest in previously enjoyed hobbies/commitments
  9. Self-harm
  10. Self-neglect
  11. Depression
  12. Hypervigilance and jumpy
  13. Fear/confusion of making decisions and choices
  14. Emotion and Mood changes
  15. Lack of concentration/forgetfulness
  16. Physical Withdrawal; particularly in an environment that is a reminder of the abuse
  17. Weight loss/weight gain
  18. Anxiety

If the abuse is prolonged over a long period of time can lead to BPD/and/or CPTSD or PTSD.

Please be aware when the victim is under intense distress it takes time for them to come to terms with a traumatic experience or situation – they may not seem themselves and there’s no time limit on the after-effects of emotional abuse.

People often complain about verbal abuse but subtle emotional abuse damages the lives of men, women and children.

Equal opportunities and communications relevance is a must to safeguard and protect a community as a whole. Some after-effects are so extreme that the victim may even come across abusive and delusional as they’re making sense of their traumatic experiences depending on the nature and the circumstance of the interaction between the abusers and the victims.

This post is for awareness purposes only. 

Protect a loved one, save a life 💙

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Depression

Have you ever looked around you and people all stable and laughing, the walls closing in on you, the hallways swallowing your mind whole, like you’re pushing yourself through quicksand, like your brain is slow and grounded, like you have no control over your anger? In the lowest moments do you sit there and listen to the vibrations of the brain looking at the world in a different way, like the sand meets the shore of the strongest tide, a mind that never stops. A mind that never stops writing, a mind that never stops thinking, a mind that is positive but a brain as a competitor fighting for survival – the soul telling you to stay strong and have hope, the world around you getting tired of listening to your inner pain, the world around you believing you don’t appreciate what you have except you do but it’s not you that’s ill. It’s your brain. Except you know this. After many failures you’re aware of this but you stay strong, you keep at your goals and aspirations because it gives you hope and you give hope to others experiencing the same things. You pace, you sit and wonder, wonder what went wrong, wonder why your ears hear differently, your eyes see the world in a different way. You just wonder. Wonder why the stable mind can’t understand how you feel because they haven’t been there. They haven’t been where you are. It’s okay not to be okay. You may not be perfect, you may not have made good decisions in the past but your brain has a power. A power beyond your wildest thoughts. It’s a brain with passion, a brain with emphasis, a brain that has a better insight of reality.

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Ernest Hemingway’s Mind

Ernest Hemingway once said: “There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self”

What does this quote imply?

Ernest Hemingway struggled with depression at the time he wrote this quote. You can tell by his words. The first sentence shows he probably tried to explain how he was feeling but came across as insensitive and superior and couldn’t understand why no one else could understand the way he was feeling.

The second part of the sentence implies his own personal growth within his writing. He released his emotions into words, he created books that warmed the hearts of millions of people around the world – especially the book “The Old Man and the Sea.”

He remembered who he was before all the traumatic incidents happened to him except he knew something in his brain has changed. He knew because he became superior to himself. He may have come across as narcissistic but maybe society suppressed him too much, so was he? Maybe the experiences he entailed changed the way in which is brain functioned. Maybe he didn’t realise how much of himself he lost until the moment he could write. He wrote about what hurts. His imagination will always live on.

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What side of the brain do you use?

 

What side of the brain do you use?

The interaction between both is a game of volleyball, a confusing element within its features, a comprehensive account of our genetics and memory processes…
Skills are what motivates us. Experience is what shapes us. Atoms. That’s all we are atoms.

 

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Is it time to rethink borderline personality disorder?

I thought I’d do a post after seeing a post on Facebook about a kind hearted young girl taking her own life because of borderline personality disorder caused by abuse.

I just want to point out the effects of borderline personality disorder and how it may impact on caregivers:

  • BPD are loving individuals
  • They are not dangerous
  • They are warm and caring
  • They isolate themselves when they feel too overwhelmed, they become angry when they are afraid
  • They experience extreme mood swings when faced with interpersonal trauma and/or distress
  • They think with their heart
  • Its one of the most commonly recognised personality disorders
  • During a crisis the sufferer loses control – as a result this can lead to suicide or intense emotional reactions to triggers that relate to the sufferers interpersonal traumas.
  • They have problems interacting with others and dissociate to mask their inner pain
  • They feel lost and abandoned the majority of the time
  • If intensely bullied/abused may experience delusions and hallucinations
  • Is often confused with Histrionic Personality Disorder, dissociative identity disorder, bipolar disorder, ptsd and narcissistic personality disorder.
  • It’s not a label, it’s neurological and affects the areas of the brain responsible for controlling mood
  • Creativity, drama therapy and music therapy helps with restoring the individual to a normal level of functioning
  • Can affect relationships and are at risk of further abuse
  • Are often criticised by the healthcare professions who don’t understand during a crisis the illness can take over the mind of even the most high functioning borderline
  • This needs to be removed from the personality disorders category because it’s the only personality disorder to have the highest suicide rates and personality disorders start before the age of four -bpd is the result of abuse.

 

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What is love?

Love is undefinable. You think the person you love will always deliver the same you give to them. If it’s imbalanced it is destructive.

As Shakespeare once said “The route of all heartache is expectation” 

You can’t expect anyone to love you but you can always hold on to that inner hope. You have to love yourself first, flaws and all. The broken pieces of you make up you. Don’t succumb to anger because that won’t get you anywhere. It will create a false picture of you.

Love has its ups and downs. We all have different qualities and different ways in which we see the world. We all have values, we are not our mistakes. We are the character that arises from the mistake. We are whoever we wish to be. Sometimes we just have to believe in ourselves. Love grows, just like a seed awaiting the sunshine and water. Just like the seasons change. Just like the weather changes. Change is inevitable. Change is something we all have to deal with in our lives whether we want to or not. Change is a blessing in disguise. Change is something we have to be uncomfortable with in order to grow, to realise, to deal with.

It’s natural. Oxytocin is a powerful chemical and it can take over the mind of the most empathetic person.

So you’ve made mistakes in your relationships? You’ve questioned your sanity? You’ve portrayed the unexpected? Those are previous circumstances that don’t define you. Have hope for a positive and loving future. Forgive those who have hurt you in life through actions but share awareness of how those actions can affect the mental health of others.

You know the saying “Don’t mix business with pleasure” – it’s because compassion and love should be private but business should be shared with the world to contribute to new discoveries, new developments, new projects. Something that will shape our future generations.

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What is Fibromyalgia 📝

Sometimes during periods of stress you lose control of your legs, you are dizzy, you experience brain fog, and you want to sleep constantly –  The brain is linked to body pain. Focus on the cognitive model to improve fibromyalgia. The cognitive model suggests that fibromyalgia pain can be intensified if we have stored representations of memory of pain. Do yoga to improve my fibromyalgia and mindfulness meditation. Exercise improves fibromyalgia symptoms because it helps relieve stress. It helps with releasing endorphins in the brain.

Living with physical conditions as well as mental health conditions creates a paradox and doesn’t constitute to positive health so in order to improve your own mental well-being begin to use the cognitive model to identify the causes of your pain how to minimise this in your life.