What side of the brain do you use?

 

What side of the brain do you use?

The interaction between both is a game of volleyball, a confusing element within its features, a comprehensive account of our genetics and memory processes…
Skills are what motivates us. Experience is what shapes us. Atoms. That’s all we are atoms.

 

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Is it time to rethink borderline personality disorder?

I thought I’d do a post after seeing a post on Facebook about a kind hearted young girl taking her own life because of borderline personality disorder caused by abuse.

I just want to point out the effects of borderline personality disorder and how it may impact on caregivers:

  • BPD are loving individuals
  • They are not dangerous
  • They are warm and caring
  • They isolate themselves when they feel too overwhelmed, they become angry when they are afraid
  • They experience extreme mood swings when faced with interpersonal trauma and/or distress
  • They think with their heart
  • Its one of the most commonly recognised personality disorders
  • During a crisis the sufferer loses control – as a result this can lead to suicide or intense emotional reactions to triggers that relate to the sufferers interpersonal traumas.
  • They have problems interacting with others and dissociate to mask their inner pain
  • They feel lost and abandoned the majority of the time
  • If intensely bullied/abused may experience delusions and hallucinations
  • Is often confused with Histrionic Personality Disorder, dissociative identity disorder, bipolar disorder, ptsd and narcissistic personality disorder.
  • It’s not a label, it’s neurological and affects the areas of the brain responsible for controlling mood
  • Creativity, drama therapy and music therapy helps with restoring the individual to a normal level of functioning
  • Can affect relationships and are at risk of further abuse
  • Are often criticised by the healthcare professions who don’t understand during a crisis the illness can take over the mind of even the most high functioning borderline
  • This needs to be removed from the personality disorders category because it’s the only personality disorder to have the highest suicide rates and personality disorders start before the age of four -bpd is the result of abuse.

 

What is love?

Love is undefinable. You think the person you love will always deliver the same you give to them. If it’s imbalanced it is destructive.

As Shakespeare once said “The route of all heartache is expectation” 

You can’t expect anyone to love you but you can always hold on to that inner hope. You have to love yourself first, flaws and all. The broken pieces of you make up you. Don’t succumb to anger because that won’t get you anywhere. It will create a false picture of you.

Love has its ups and downs. We all have different qualities and different ways in which we see the world. We all have values, we are not our mistakes. We are the character that arises from the mistake. We are whoever we wish to be. Sometimes we just have to believe in ourselves. Love grows, just like a seed awaiting the sunshine and water. Just like the seasons change. Just like the weather changes. Change is inevitable. Change is something we all have to deal with in our lives whether we want to or not. Change is a blessing in disguise. Change is something we have to be uncomfortable with in order to grow, to realise, to deal with.

It’s natural. Oxytocin is a powerful chemical and it can take over the mind of the most empathetic person.

So you’ve made mistakes in your relationships? You’ve questioned your sanity? You’ve portrayed the unexpected? Those are previous circumstances that don’t define you. Have hope for a positive and loving future. Forgive those who have hurt you in life through actions but share awareness of how those actions can affect the mental health of others.

You know the saying “Don’t mix business with pleasure” – it’s because compassion and love should be private but business should be shared with the world to contribute to new discoveries, new developments, new projects. Something that will shape our future generations.

A solemn night 💫

Chapter One

She took one last step towards him. Her heart jumped at the sight of her illusions. She was questioning herself. She was wondering by unexpectedly. She felt love for him with no understanding of why. This left her craving more. She realised she had absorbed his personality traits and her brain would never be the same.

It began on a cold winter morning. Owls hooted and crickets chirped.  The sun a pale yellow rising above the mist. The atmosphere was quiet and the air had a delicate warmth in its blow. I felt I had exhausted all efforts in trying to rebuild my life. I was lonely. But not lonely as in craving another person to fill my void, lonely as in lacking the capacity to make good appropriate decisions.  I had just left my family home after a disagreement. I felt abandoned, prejudiced, alone. I wanted to find a quiet spot to relax my thoughts and deal with my pain in solitude but everywhere I turned I had the darkest memories of pain reflecting images of anticipation in my environment. I didn’t see the world the way others did back then. I was avoidant. Avoidant of anyone who would bring me pain. Avoidant of anything that would disrupt my thought processes. Avoidant of anything uncomfortable that suffocated me. Avoidant of the my loving inner virtues like something had blocked my ability to love myself and who I was. I was confused. I couldn’t understand back then. I was seventeen. I had just finished my GCSE’s with a high mark in History.  History was my favourite subject because I liked the way evolution had evolved, how technology had camouflaged the art of survival. It was then I knew I still was using my primitive brain. I wanted it to be manipulated to blend in with social norms, I wanted it to stop being fearful of my past. I wanted by brain to stop being on the lookout for danger but it never complied with my conscience. It was then I moved back to my fathers. I had just come out of a relationship that didn’t end well. I loved this man a lot but I was too unstable within the relationship so he ended it with me. I felt rejected. I felt like I wasn’t deserving of love. He had a strong deameanour which I valued. It was never going to work out so that night I cried myself to sleep hoping that one day I’d have a stable relationship with value and consistency. It was then I met him. An unexpected encounter. I was about to embark on a destructive path.

 

Love as a metaphor

Love is something that has to be felt. Love doesn’t discriminate. You can’t choose who you fall in love with. You can’t please everyone in the world. For love to be special it has to be returned. Love is different from the casual encounter after a few drinks at the pub. Love is just that. Love. It manifests in so many ways and you wouldn’t even know it was there. Not all relationships are meant to be. Sometimes you have to take a step back and think are you making the right decision? Do you want this person? Love is accepting the person as they are but you have to be strong in your maturity if you know they’re not right for you. Regardless of the love you have for them to protect your own soul. To protect your own sanity. Love isn’t an adjective. It’s a beautiful thing. Some people can take advantage of the love you have left to give and we can only share so much. Sometimes you have to ask yourself…

Am I in the right relationship? Are there ways I can leave this person without causing them pain? Breakups are hard right? But not as hard as battling mental health issues to the point of self-destruction and fixing yourself repetitively feeling guilty and worthless. If they’re hurting ask yourself – did I listen to her? Did I return the love he/she tried to give me? Was I accepting of her and what she was trying to tell me? Are you wasting your life with the wrong person. Eccentric right? Perhaps? Have you felt love? It’s a shining source – a source of inner power that comes from you. Her love was special and you let her go. You unconsciously knew you hurt her but you didn’t want to. You knew because you kept coming back. You kept her in your shadow. You want her you just can’t admit it because you know of the stigma. You know that others won’t accept the change. But you project your fears into her mind. You push her away from any other source of love or support network because she meant something to you. She was a broken heart but a loving one at that. You knew she was different. You knew it was hard to let her go – but did you understand her? Did you want the best for her? Or did you miss what used to be.