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Stevenage woman with borderline personality disorder speaks out ahead of Mental Health Awareness Week | Stevenage, Hitchin, Letchworth, Biggleswade News – The Comet

https://www.thecomet.net/news/stevenage-woman-with-borderline-personality-disorder-speaks-out-1-6042184

This is a story I did for the local news in Stevenage regarding Borderline Personality Disorder although chose to remain anonymous as it gets the message across to the mental health professionals and the public to aid better research to help others.

Please take a read and share if you can as will help at least one person.

Thank you x

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Recognising Manipulation to save lives

The effects of manipulation are diverse. It can control your thoughts, your behaviours, isolate you from your family and friends, create emotional instability, traumatise the brain to the point you’re repetitively thinking about the manipulation over and over again. Your thoughts don’t run in alignment with what you say.

Your brain begins to use suppression techniques to survive further trauma, it changes the way you see the world.

Manipulative people lack empathy, they are only interested in watching you suffer, they control how others see you, they use normative social influence to destroy others perception of you. You end up feeling out of control and powerless wanting to remain positive.

Trauma survivors are insightful. They seek a world where understanding is prevalent & safety is a priority. Narcissistic injury creates a guilt & shame based perspective that induces suicidal feelings.  You begin to gradually decline in your physical and emotional development. You doubt your perceptions. You begin trusting less & less until the damage intensifies and you’re seen as the blame. Survivors are not to blame for the abuse they’ve had to suffer in their lives except more trauma based resources need to be available especially for emotional abuse support groups.

The differentiation between domestic abuse and narcissistic abuse is in narcissistic abuse the perpetrator is usually calm and collected whilst the victim becomes even more ill steadily over a period of time until they have a catastrophic personality change and realise this isn’t right and start acting out at the traumas they’ve experienced as if they’re in the present whilst in domestic abuse it’s more overtly obvious to the medical and psychological community.

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What to say to a borderline during therapy

Psychologists and psychiatrists can play their part in treating a borderline by reorganisation. 

Below I’ve listed ways how:

  1. Replace ‘you are too emotional and take things to heart’ with the words ‘I know you’re struggling, please can you explain to me what happened in more detail and why you feel the way you do? If the therapist is weary of delusions compromising or interfering with the therapy then they can arrange a follow up meeting and ask the same question again for clarification purposes.
  2. Ask a borderline what their creative hobbies are and suggest creative activities they can do.
  3. Remind the borderline they are aware their negative emotions are not intentional but be more parental in a supportive way and suggest ways can  remove the anger from their processes although in times of crisis the anger can be explosive because of the highs and the lows.
  4. Introduce positive communication methods and integrate this into therapy to help the borderline communicate more efficiently in times of distress.
  5. Dont take things to heart with a borderline- they can lose their trust pretty quickly but only because they’ve been hurt so much before.
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Einstein…

This is a man who applied physics to real-life situations. To put this quote into perspective what Einstein is referring to is the scientific term “force” – for example; gravity keeps us on the ground; it is an invisible force and this can be applied to words. When you notice patterns within the universe you start questioning the causalities with an open mind rather than follow the crowd with the normalised sociological views.

To listen is to understand,

To understand is to help. Creating change by understanding is far better than judgement for if we try to use force we can break (emotionally) whereas if we understand we are able to help others in life a lot more; apply science to real-life situations and see a difference in the outside world 💛

 

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What does missing an antidepressant do to your brain!?

If you have a chemical imbalance within your brain, missing one capsule can have a devastating effect on your health and your life.

I was subject to this. I was wallowing through life, replenishing my soul, afraid to dream of my shadows, afraid to break the eggshells I stepped upon until I spoke up. I spoke up because I had to. I spoke up to save my own life. I spoke up because my soul was fighting for survival. Because of my diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder people were horrible to me about my illness and that’s when I remembered Einstein’s quote; “The evil of the world isn’t those who do evil but those who look on without doing anything.”

I remembered my worth. I remembered that I had a soul. I remembered that I’d never lower myself to the level of those who hurt, betrayed or laughed at me during the difficult times. I fought a battle to explain how some conditions affect the brain except my voice wasn’t heard much. I suppose those in medical power sometimes feel like because they have control it makes them feel better to allow others to struggle. Ever heard of the Milgram experiment? Exactly. There’s very few people we can truthfully trust in this world and ourselves has to be the first because if we don’t look out for ourselves we will only be met with more stigma, more discrimination and an ancient society.

It’s time to make change. It’s time to make a difference. I’m living proof that mental health conditions do change the brain and I’m also living prove a borderline can have empathy. What do I owe to the world? My faith. My charisma. My skills. My passion. My love. Education, respect and dignity to all those who are dealing with their demons in the most extraordinary way.

Keep going because you are strong. We will end discrimination and your talents will shine through the cobwebs that plagued your soul. 💙

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The Marilyn Project

Marilyn Monroe, our historical icon, wore her curves with dignity, her smile with force and her clothes with style.

Monroe was abused as a child and grew up with mental health difficulties that lead her to take her own life so many years ago. In the age of social media it’s really important people are able to be open about their mental health difficulties to prevent farther suicides. .

It is happening all too frequently. Why are people ashamed of asking for help? Together we can create a marilyn project to save the lives of millions by doing five simple things. Understand, listen, research, accept, help.

Help each other and save a life.

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Self-reflection and creative ideas

Many people ask me where my creative ideas come from. They come from my experience, the come from the fireworks of chemicals zapping through my fragile mind.

Am I ashamed of this? No. Why should I be?

Its not about what is wrong with us, it’s about how we can improve our own mental health and wellbeing without affecting those around us. We all can’t have the same opinions. It’s like when people judge your past and assume you would grow up to be a negative individual searching for more pain to add to your life that you’ve already experienced.

This isn’t true. If it was – nearly everyone would have broken down and lost themselves completely by now. Sometimes we don’t even realise our strengths until we are thrust in the darkness, neglected, having that ambition for a better and prosperous life.

Keep going. Because it will happen.

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The Narcissist’s Daughter

This is her story.

She was observant, with a kind nature and an eccentric personality. Her face was a pale white and her hair a smoky brown. Her blue-grey eyes glistened through shreds of broken glass, broken glass that correlated with her fragmented self esteem. She was not a narcissist but she had traits of narcissm from her father.

Her father was a businessman who had a charming and proactive front but would act aggressively to those who crossed his path. Money meant everything to him. He wanted fame. He wanted luxury. He wanted his daughter to be ‘just like him.’ A clone. She often stepped on eggshells to avoid exposing her father’s weak side – the side where he would project his opinions into the placid mind of his daughter who fought so effortlessly for peace. Peace within her surroundings. Her dissociation began as a toddler. Whatever she experienced in her early years affected her personal development except her memories had not been remembered so she wondered through life, with empathy, holding pain on her shoulders for the world to see. She kept a strong face because she knew. She knew she could read other’s hidden motives. She knew of the stigmatisation of the vulnerable exterior except her father had a vulnerable interior. She knew her father had an illness and understood his but he could never understand hers.

 

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Mental health Awareness Post

#MentalHealthAwarenessPost
Take away the shame of the stigma… Here’s my story of how I defeated my depressive symptoms…

In September 2018 my brain changed. I knew something was wrong but I couldn’t fathom what and would think about everything I’ve learnt and compare my symptoms to my prior knowledge.

Over the years I’ve had CBT, counselling, attended Mind and even an acting group to help my symptoms but nothing was taking away the days and the nights I would cry myself to sleep.

I had positive opportunities going for me but my brain just was a blur of confusion – like a sponge soaked in past instability and traumas.

At the age of 20 others started to notice I was depressed and I was put on fluoxetine which worked for me and I managed to get to a good level of stability. In 2015/2016 this no longer worked for me and I couldn’t understand why.

I was reluctant to try anything else as had a bad reaction to the fluoxetine when attempted to try it again and was diagnosed with seretonin activation syndrome in August 2018.

A few weeks before my brain changed I was sleeping a lot more than usual and I honestly thought the depression would never ease.
Well it has. It has intensively.

No I’m not ashamed that I was unwell, I’m ashamed of how my mental health condition affected me at the time but you know what… Sertraline is working for me after six weeks and I couldn’t be more grateful… there IS a treatment for depression.

That’s when I realised the biological aspects of mental health were not understood. But one day they will be so others can get the help they need.

Sometimes we have to stand up to what we believe in. So if you see me being positive thank Science 🧪 🙌
#EndTheStigma

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Measuring moods

One night I sat there contemplating my ‘depression’ thinking why do I feel depressed when I have many things going for me? Why do I experience mood swings and shifts in my perspective? Why I feel lost without a source of comfort in times of need.

I thought up an idea as I was researching how to ease anxiety…

Create a personal project:

So how do we measure mood? Well, the answer is quite simple…

1. Create a two week routine diary and template recording sleep patterns, medication

2. Add a column and a row with the title mood

3. Add a column and a row with the title situation

4. Record your moods in the column

Don’t forget to add the times and dates!!

The aim of this exercise is to establish whether sociology factors are responsible for the way you feel or biological factors. It helps to distinguish between biological mental health and sociological mental health.

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How do ‘biases’ affect the general population?

Biases are contradictive. Biases are incorrect. Biases are forms of opinionated judgement.

We all haven’t experienced the same experiences except we can conform to the same idea based on another’s intuitive judgement. Status is mostly responsible for this.

We will unintentionally use the availability heuristic to make judgements about people even when not represented with the facts. This is where we need to be careful…

This is where mistakes can arise. This is where integrity can be abandoned and common sense he misjudged.

We must all learn how to make our own judgements and decisions to determine what is right and what is wrong. I find that many people will conform to a professional’s idea or way of thinking even when a person in question is innocent.

Here’s a scenario…

A woman and a man arrange to meet for a coffee. The man admits he would like a divorce and wanted someone to talk to. The man has no intentions but his wife’s friend walks past the coffee shop.

Would you assume this man wants anything else from this woman other than a conversation?

What political or psychological factors do you think are involved in the scenario?

What do you assume?

That is how quickly our judgements can affect our moods and emotions.

 

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What is altruism and does it exist?

Altruism is doing good for others without expecting anything in return. Only 1% of the population is altruistic statistically. This is why so many altruistic people are criticised for their warmth, their openness, their values and their heartfelt emotions. It’s not a weakness it’s a sign of strength.

I want to do voluntary work for others no matter how hard life has knocked me down, or how many people have left me alone, or whatever I’ve lost in my life. I still have hope in my heart. A hope for a better future. An end of mental health stigma. An end to the suffering. But I’m pro-development. Pro-efficient. I’m capable 💙