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Positive activities completed this morning 💓

Just a normal day, I woke up, made myself a tea, and did some anagrams to gain interpersonal skills and allow myself to think better cognitively. Which lead me with an idea:

1. Create a spider diagram of one descriptive word in the centre that describes your core personality and create anagrams of all those leaves that stem from the descriptive word that you create. Write them down.

2. Write a paragraph of how you felt about yourself and what you discovered about yourself.

3. Looked at my diary and took my sertraline and listed things to do today in a specified time-frame

4. Completed critical thinking exercises from worksheets I printed

5. Wrote in my CBT record

This is how I grow 💙

 

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What people think of you is none of your business 💗

People have bought me down so many times in my life and I want to share my story because I take personal responsibility for my actions, I take personal responsibility for my deterioration and I’m moving on from the past and building fresh.

Do not believe people when they try tell you who you are. . . 

Past is past. Whatever you’ve done, whatever someone else has done just remember you’re still breathing. You’re still here. People can only get to you if you allow them to. Knowledge is power. 

Heal from within. Remember who you are before the drains sucked in your soul. Don’t ever allow others to bring you down to a level where you doubt your sanity, where you are manipulated into believing things that aren’t true. That’s not living.

Living is being blessed, appreciative and loving towards others. Don’t be like them. You’re not in alignment with who you really are once you’ve let them destroy your worth. You deserve better.

If I was perfect, I would not be writing this! I’ve made mistakes I’m not proud of. I’ve broken a few hearts which I never intended to do. I’ve fallen for people who wanted me for one thing which is not self-respect, it’s not being worthy of myself. It’s not giving me that future prosperity I’m attaining.

Instead of asking someone why its taken them so long to back away from someone who causes them pain or how can you love someone who causes you pain? Tell them you’re proud they left when they could. 

Love doesn’t discriminate my darling, and I’ve yet to meet a perfect person walking on this planet. Love just happens. 

The right love will come to you when you start believing in yourself and your capabilities. Don’t lower your worth to fit in with those who don’t appreciate you.

Children are not weapons. Children should grow up to be able to make their own sensible decisions. They should not be subject to personal views based on personal experiences because we all have different experiences.

Wave goodbye to those who bring you down and remember how strong you are.

You’re worthy and you got this 💕👋

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Creative writing: The Innocent Boy

This is his story.

He walked towards the mirror and knealt down on the night of a full moon, it’s reflection mirrored in the glass. He stopped. His inner evaluative speech triggered his thoughts to reconcile the attachment developments he experienced as a child as he remembered all he had courageously fought through; the mirror having no idea of his hot cognition and the thoughts scraping within his frontal lobe, illogical but overwhelming in deep thinking and solitude.

His eyes were an ombré hazel with a white grey lining, luminous with a dark purple centre. His hair an eerie black, full and fine, flowing discreetly past is pale crimson forehead. His nose, a burnt shade of red, pressed against the pane creating a smear of condensated matter.

He peered more deeply.

It wasn’t a mirror or a glass – it was an icy pool of cold moods, his tears icicles of winter snow, his body a sculpture of stillness. It wasn’t a shop window he was peering into – it was a frozen lake. The lake. The lake of death as they call it. The lake that takes the minds of many suffering so quietly, so elegantly, the lake that has created blessings, the lake a pool of a thousand diamonds. Diamonds that couldn’t speak up about their feelings. Diamonds that so swiftly declined and deteriorated due to the pressures of living within a tormented mind with a soft soul. His soul a powerful reminder of his pressured self-esteem – his body so bare. 

Oh how someone would help him, but no one could be seen.

 

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What side of the brain do you use?

 

What side of the brain do you use?

The interaction between both is a game of volleyball, a confusing element within its features, a comprehensive account of our genetics and memory processes…
Skills are what motivates us. Experience is what shapes us. Atoms. That’s all we are atoms.

 

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Is it time to rethink borderline personality disorder?

I thought I’d do a post after seeing a post on Facebook about a kind hearted young girl taking her own life because of borderline personality disorder caused by abuse.

I just want to point out the effects of borderline personality disorder and how it may impact on caregivers:

  • BPD are loving individuals
  • They are not dangerous
  • They are warm and caring
  • They isolate themselves when they feel too overwhelmed, they become angry when they are afraid
  • They experience extreme mood swings when faced with interpersonal trauma and/or distress
  • They think with their heart
  • Its one of the most commonly recognised personality disorders
  • During a crisis the sufferer loses control – as a result this can lead to suicide or intense emotional reactions to triggers that relate to the sufferers interpersonal traumas.
  • They have problems interacting with others and dissociate to mask their inner pain
  • They feel lost and abandoned the majority of the time
  • If intensely bullied/abused may experience delusions and hallucinations
  • Is often confused with Histrionic Personality Disorder, dissociative identity disorder, bipolar disorder, ptsd and narcissistic personality disorder.
  • It’s not a label, it’s neurological and affects the areas of the brain responsible for controlling mood
  • Creativity, drama therapy and music therapy helps with restoring the individual to a normal level of functioning
  • Can affect relationships and are at risk of further abuse
  • Are often criticised by the healthcare professions who don’t understand during a crisis the illness can take over the mind of even the most high functioning borderline
  • This needs to be removed from the personality disorders category because it’s the only personality disorder to have the highest suicide rates and personality disorders start before the age of four -bpd is the result of abuse.

 

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What is love?

Love is undefinable. You think the person you love will always deliver the same you give to them. If it’s imbalanced it is destructive.

As Shakespeare once said “The route of all heartache is expectation” 

You can’t expect anyone to love you but you can always hold on to that inner hope. You have to love yourself first, flaws and all. The broken pieces of you make up you. Don’t succumb to anger because that won’t get you anywhere. It will create a false picture of you.

Love has its ups and downs. We all have different qualities and different ways in which we see the world. We all have values, we are not our mistakes. We are the character that arises from the mistake. We are whoever we wish to be. Sometimes we just have to believe in ourselves. Love grows, just like a seed awaiting the sunshine and water. Just like the seasons change. Just like the weather changes. Change is inevitable. Change is something we all have to deal with in our lives whether we want to or not. Change is a blessing in disguise. Change is something we have to be uncomfortable with in order to grow, to realise, to deal with.

It’s natural. Oxytocin is a powerful chemical and it can take over the mind of the most empathetic person.

So you’ve made mistakes in your relationships? You’ve questioned your sanity? You’ve portrayed the unexpected? Those are previous circumstances that don’t define you. Have hope for a positive and loving future. Forgive those who have hurt you in life through actions but share awareness of how those actions can affect the mental health of others.

You know the saying “Don’t mix business with pleasure” – it’s because compassion and love should be private but business should be shared with the world to contribute to new discoveries, new developments, new projects. Something that will shape our future generations.

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The transition period of awakening

When you awaken, beware of the dark. Turn on the lights. Flick that switch. It’s a bumpy road. It swallows you into the picturesque memories of the past. The balloon you once held as a child. The first cries you heard from your sibling. The first competition you won in infant school. The first church you went to. The first tree you climbed. The first people you met. The arguments you witnessed. The instability you felt. The loss of love you felt. The reaching out but feeling neglected. The first beach you went to as a child being scared of the sand – the feeling. How it felt uncomfortable. How this small child would fidget in nursery and teachers couldn’t make her stop. How she had the reading ability of a twelve year old at the age of three but was behind in her comprehension skills, the girl who was countlessly told something was “wrong” with her? The girl who could have grown up conversations at the age of four. Playing outside and enjoying playscheme in her small London Town. She awoke and she remembered who she was. She was born with this spiritual nature. This gift of compassion. The ability to not be afraid of her vulnerabilities but she knew others couldn’t see her life long pain. She knew. She knew because she was endlessly shown her flaws that masked her beauty.📆

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The yacht in the ocean

The yacht was still, still as the midnight wind.

Rocking gently creating swirling ripples around its frame

Rocking so slight reflecting the moons shadow

A whistle of air and a swift blow of wind can destroy its still essence and send it plummeting vivaciously into the depths of the unknown.

But listen…

But look…

Did it disappear? Did it rise back to the surface?

It’s rusty. The yacht became damaged. Damaged from its experience.

But the yacht survived.

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A special moment 🖍

It took me a while to figure out what my purpose in life is. Who I should be. I was often comfortable and confused in isolation, alienated from the busy outside world when I found a love for books and writing.

I would spend some days at the British Library in London sitting with a book in solitude – having an open mind at the people who created such an imaginative world where you can escape your inner fears. I may struggle with cognition and statistics but I was not born to be a mathematician. I was born a writer. I was never accepted for who I was throughout my life but I would not subject myself or allow others to deteriorate who I was as a person. I believed in myself and I believed that one day I’d be able to do something positive for someone else.

I listened to others scrutiny. I objectively defined myself based on another’s opinion and this caused me great inner pain. I’ve let go of that inner pain and set myself on a new path – where possibilities are possible, where I can transform the darkest memories imprinted within the surface of my imagination and make something out of the criticism, out of the doubt, out of the controversial abnormality our brains have encompassed us with.

When we build we have to be willing to sacrifice. And when we sacrifice we have to ensure we are looking out for others as well as ourselves.

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What are you capable of?

Ever wondered how you could make a difference to others? Ever wanted to avoid people who drain you?

Your goals over everything. What are you capable of? What are your strengths? What makes you different? What do you enjoy doing?

Do you often listen to others advice without listening to your own? Do you ever feel you can break free from the standardised norms society puts in place?

You may or may not be going through a hard time right now but if you are let yourself heal. The worst moments will pass then create a plan.

If you’re struggling just remember, you’re strong and you have the passion and optimism within you.

What can YOU do? What are YOUR specialities?

1. Print off a CBT workbook and set yourself a time limit every day – 1 hour or even 30 minutes if have children and a hectic life.

2. Take supplements and minimise sugar as this will keep your blood sugar more stable to ease mood swings and will make you feel more energised.

3. Create your own self development folder that no one needs to see but you can fill it out daily.

4. Set yourself creative goals as it has shown by science to improve mental health conditions & ease physical conditions like Fibromyalgia.

5. Socialise with those who won’t judge you for what you experience in your life but would always support you no matter what because they’re the people worth associating with in life.

6. If someone calls you crazy, just remember – great ideas never came from standardised minds. Grades don’t measure intelligence and mental health doesn’t define character. You can achieve anything you truthfully want. Sometimes it takes a life transformation to realise your capabilities. But keep going because you’re strong enough.