This is a story I did for the local news in Stevenage regarding Borderline Personality Disorder although chose to remain anonymous as it gets the message across to the mental health professionals and the public to aid better research to help others.
Please take a read and share if you can as will help at least one person.
Thank you x
The effects of manipulation are diverse. It can control your thoughts, your behaviours, isolate you from your family and friends, create emotional instability, traumatise the brain to the point you’re repetitively thinking about the manipulation over and over again. Your thoughts don’t run in alignment with what you say.
Your brain begins to use suppression techniques to survive further trauma, it changes the way you see the world.
Manipulative people lack empathy, they are only interested in watching you suffer, they control how others see you, they use normative social influence to destroy others perception of you. You end up feeling out of control and powerless wanting to remain positive.
Trauma survivors are insightful. They seek a world where understanding is prevalent & safety is a priority. Narcissistic injury creates a guilt & shame based perspective that induces suicidal feelings. You begin to gradually decline in your physical and emotional development. You doubt your perceptions. You begin trusting less & less until the damage intensifies and you’re seen as the blame. Survivors are not to blame for the abuse they’ve had to suffer in their lives except more trauma based resources need to be available especially for emotional abuse support groups.
The differentiation between domestic abuse and narcissistic abuse is in narcissistic abuse the perpetrator is usually calm and collected whilst the victim becomes even more ill steadily over a period of time until they have a catastrophic personality change and realise this isn’t right and start acting out at the traumas they’ve experienced as if they’re in the present whilst in domestic abuse it’s more overtly obvious to the medical and psychological community.
From the naked eye you see a smile
A delightful smile of a woman who has everything
What you don’t see are the bricks within the decorated walls
The bricks that weigh down her emotions
The bricks that fall on her heavy as she sleeps
You can’t see the bricks she holds within herself
So you judge, you assume, you scoff
It doesn’t hurt to be a little kind
For a mental health illness is heavy
Not a personal failure or a mistake
Mental health isn’t a means for ridicule
Mental health should be a means for recovery
Allow your soul to feel the warmth of the summer air as you close your eyes and imagine an exotic beach surrounded by fields of sunflowers and dandelions dancing in alignment with the velvet green grass.
Your soul feels passion, it feels delight, it is the symphony of the milk way, an inner warmth that only you can feel.
Really close your eyes. Imagine the blazing hot sun shimmering between the trees separating the path from the shadows, forests of soilders standing guard of engraved copper caves watching over the sea guiding the ships and its sailors.
Imagine a safe spot within the forest where you can let go of your thoughts, a feeling of self-control and self-comfort listening to the echoes of natures most glorious species.
A lighthouse with a light bearing a ninety degree view of the soft white sand.
Breathe in an out slowly but deeply for five minutes whilst imaging the beauty of the forest. The forest by the shore.
One way to separate an individual from a mental health label is to ask them their values.
Values are what separates each individual retrospectively. For example, one person may choose to live in a busy city to work for a top technology firm because they enjoy communication and applying their skills to the general population whereas another person may choose to live in a quiet area surrounded by natural sources such as caves, rivers and twinkling streams.
We all have collective personalities and memories different from another except with the same concept of referring to a memory. These concepts are generated symbols designed by our unconscious to describe our perception and outlook.
The advertising we see are unconscious influencers to our desired wants rather than needs which leaves humans wanting more than what they have hence the rising mental health rates in the western world. Simply, they are symbols. Everything you see is a symbol or a pattern of past events which may be political, scientific, spiritual, genetic- you name it. Everything we see is made up of the five senses and these senses create an improvised network to deliver a message to a sample of a population. Popularity comes from advancements aimed to influence the majority of the population to create a norm, like an establishment of power.
Each symbol will have a different meaning to its peers except when mental health labels are given to us within society yet once people hear someone they know has a mental health condition that isn’t visually observant they begin to analyse and interpret the meaning of that label as an overgeneralised symbol which doesn’t help with separating the individual from the mental health condition. I mean really think about it. People cause the most suffering. Political views have created wars we’ve evolved and used money to give humans a class status, we have first class and standard class on trains and VIP nightclub venues which makes some people feel worthless and unimportant and doesn’t support equality in the slightest.
We can only craft our own meaning of ourselves and set our own boundaries because if we don’t we allow others to do that for us.
Psychologists and psychiatrists can play their part in treating a borderline by reorganisation.
Below I’ve listed ways how:
- Replace ‘you are too emotional and take things to heart’ with the words ‘I know you’re struggling, please can you explain to me what happened in more detail and why you feel the way you do? If the therapist is weary of delusions compromising or interfering with the therapy then they can arrange a follow up meeting and ask the same question again for clarification purposes.
- Ask a borderline what their creative hobbies are and suggest creative activities they can do.
- Remind the borderline they are aware their negative emotions are not intentional but be more parental in a supportive way and suggest ways can remove the anger from their processes although in times of crisis the anger can be explosive because of the highs and the lows.
- Introduce positive communication methods and integrate this into therapy to help the borderline communicate more efficiently in times of distress.
- Dont take things to heart with a borderline- they can lose their trust pretty quickly but only because they’ve been hurt so much before.
The first step in emotional dysregulation and self awareness since my borderline personality disorder decided to take partnership back in my life (this time with cptsd that hadn’t happened before after managing to reduce the bpd to traits over the past three years) as I see things in black and white again, is to embrace the positive aspects of who we are. I’m trying to see the grey area between daily. My moods are in alignment with my feelings. My brain is a vibration of chemicals. Crossing the border from scarcity to abundance is one of the greatest things we can do for ourselves. Abundance is necessary for cognition to be in balance with your emotions. Abundance is necessary for healthier development of the body and mind. Too much oxytocin of negative energy is bad for us. This is the black-white thinking of the borderline. We flip between scarcity and abundance in alignment with the environmental input we attract. We love intensely, we are passionate souls but we crave routine, stability and balance – the highs give me creative abilities and access the part of the brain I didn’t know I had. It’s prosperous but suffocating at the same time. Your brain is consistently looking for that balance & if the balance doesn’t match the positive frequency the borderline retreats and isolates. It’s not a personality disorder as such but a biological change in the prefrontal cortex, the amygdala and the hippocampus representing every memory you’ve ever experienced, every thought you’ve ever had, every feeling you’ve ever felt and that’s magnified in accordance with our inputs. It’s highly treatable but the creative aspects of this disorder is too positive for us to want to let go. It is a representation of what we desire. We desire balance and alignment. We want a middle ground. We are the only personality disorder to be effectively treated – it’s not our “personality” it’s a brain illness – an offshoot of Complex ptsd/bipolar – theoretically it’s the borderline between these two illnesses. We are the INFJs of the universe – we are the empaths. Ever watched the film Divergent? It explains the empath in society and how they dont fit into a category.
1. Physical Energy – Yoga & meditation exercises
2. Point of view – Focus on the here and now
3. Emotional energy – Focus on creative practicalities
4. Mental energy – Feel what your body needs, add nutrients, diet , replenishment, imagine that frequency. Feel that bliss once again. ⭐️