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Forest Imagery

Allow your soul to feel the warmth of the summer air as you close your eyes and imagine an exotic beach surrounded by fields of sunflowers and dandelions dancing in alignment with the velvet green grass.

Your soul feels passion, it feels delight, it is the symphony of the milk way, an inner warmth that only you can feel.

Really close your eyes. Imagine the blazing hot sun shimmering between the trees separating the path from the shadows, forests of soilders standing guard of engraved copper caves watching over the sea guiding the ships and its sailors.

Imagine a safe spot within the forest where you can let go of your thoughts, a feeling of self-control and self-comfort listening to the echoes of natures most glorious species.

A lighthouse with a light bearing a ninety degree view of the soft white sand.

Breathe in an out slowly but deeply for five minutes whilst imaging the beauty of the forest. The forest by the shore.

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How do we increase our awareness of our selves?

How do we build upon our self-esteem?

  • Write a list of what you value about yourself and how you can make a difference to other people’s lives
  • Write down a list of characteristics you want and believe you already have them
  • Write down a list of positive achievements and attributes you’ve created in your life and how you created them as this will keep the mind focused on creating new ideologies
  • What are your hobbies? Do you confirm to the individual beside you or do you trust your own intuition?
  • If you could have any career you want what career would you choose?
  • Define yourself, take the pen, make a work of art 🖼
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Creative writing: The Innocent Boy

This is his story.

He walked towards the mirror and knealt down on the night of a full moon, it’s reflection mirrored in the glass. He stopped. His inner evaluative speech triggered his thoughts to reconcile the attachment developments he experienced as a child as he remembered all he had courageously fought through; the mirror having no idea of his hot cognition and the thoughts scraping within his frontal lobe, illogical but overwhelming in deep thinking and solitude.

His eyes were an ombré hazel with a white grey lining, luminous with a dark purple centre. His hair an eerie black, full and fine, flowing discreetly past is pale crimson forehead. His nose, a burnt shade of red, pressed against the pane creating a smear of condensated matter.

He peered more deeply.

It wasn’t a mirror or a glass – it was an icy pool of cold moods, his tears icicles of winter snow, his body a sculpture of stillness. It wasn’t a shop window he was peering into – it was a frozen lake. The lake. The lake of death as they call it. The lake that takes the minds of many suffering so quietly, so elegantly, the lake that has created blessings, the lake a pool of a thousand diamonds. Diamonds that couldn’t speak up about their feelings. Diamonds that so swiftly declined and deteriorated due to the pressures of living within a tormented mind with a soft soul. His soul a powerful reminder of his pressured self-esteem – his body so bare. 

Oh how someone would help him, but no one could be seen.

 

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Ernest Hemingway’s Mind

Ernest Hemingway once said: “There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self”

What does this quote imply?

Ernest Hemingway struggled with depression at the time he wrote this quote. You can tell by his words. The first sentence shows he probably tried to explain how he was feeling but came across as insensitive and superior and couldn’t understand why no one else could understand the way he was feeling.

The second part of the sentence implies his own personal growth within his writing. He released his emotions into words, he created books that warmed the hearts of millions of people around the world – especially the book “The Old Man and the Sea.”

He remembered who he was before all the traumatic incidents happened to him except he knew something in his brain has changed. He knew because he became superior to himself. He may have come across as narcissistic but maybe society suppressed him too much, so was he? Maybe the experiences he entailed changed the way in which is brain functioned. Maybe he didn’t realise how much of himself he lost until the moment he could write. He wrote about what hurts. His imagination will always live on.

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What side of the brain do you use?

 

What side of the brain do you use?

The interaction between both is a game of volleyball, a confusing element within its features, a comprehensive account of our genetics and memory processes…
Skills are what motivates us. Experience is what shapes us. Atoms. That’s all we are atoms.

 

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Is it time to rethink borderline personality disorder?

I thought I’d do a post after seeing a post on Facebook about a kind hearted young girl taking her own life because of borderline personality disorder caused by abuse.

I just want to point out the effects of borderline personality disorder and how it may impact on caregivers:

  • BPD are loving individuals
  • They are not dangerous
  • They are warm and caring
  • They isolate themselves when they feel too overwhelmed, they become angry when they are afraid
  • They experience extreme mood swings when faced with interpersonal trauma and/or distress
  • They think with their heart
  • Its one of the most commonly recognised personality disorders
  • During a crisis the sufferer loses control – as a result this can lead to suicide or intense emotional reactions to triggers that relate to the sufferers interpersonal traumas.
  • They have problems interacting with others and dissociate to mask their inner pain
  • They feel lost and abandoned the majority of the time
  • If intensely bullied/abused may experience delusions and hallucinations
  • Is often confused with Histrionic Personality Disorder, dissociative identity disorder, bipolar disorder, ptsd and narcissistic personality disorder.
  • It’s not a label, it’s neurological and affects the areas of the brain responsible for controlling mood
  • Creativity, drama therapy and music therapy helps with restoring the individual to a normal level of functioning
  • Can affect relationships and are at risk of further abuse
  • Are often criticised by the healthcare professions who don’t understand during a crisis the illness can take over the mind of even the most high functioning borderline
  • This needs to be removed from the personality disorders category because it’s the only personality disorder to have the highest suicide rates and personality disorders start before the age of four -bpd is the result of abuse.

 

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Creative Writing Group: Astronomy 🔭

Today I joined a creative writing group at Mind which I throughly enjoyed. I chose the topic astronomy and wrote a short piece:

The alignment of the planets spiralled in the eyes of its creator. The infinite depths of darkness enlightened by only one sun, the sun we see from earth. Connected as we are, we see the universe as a hologram, a projection of visual observances.

The many rays of light, just black and white, but our irises see colour. Are our eyes the centre of the universe? Is our energy the soul, the values, the connector of the universe? Like a flower needs the seasons the universe needs an emotion. It rotates. Perhaps the planets are not round as we percept it to be. Perhaps the moon is the white spectrum of light that we look up to when the stars twinkle in the invisible atmosphere.

Mars is a ball of rock to remind us of the soil we need to remove from our souls. We are the creators of the universe, we don’t see things in the same way, we visualise, we create, we make except we are one.

One at how we see the planets, one at how we feel the same emotions, one with how we perceive the shadows, the shadows of our reflection, from the light within our souls. Fire and water are opposites but do they have a chemical bond? Air and Earth are opposites of each other too. A productive transformation, the gift of sight, to see such a spectacular occurrence.

Pluto is the furthest within our solar system – but it’s alone – it’s purpose unknown – it’s grey but noticeable – just like a person who has been suppressed by envy, suppressed by jealousy, suppressed by the world’s greed.

If only we knew how captivating the universe is but we can’t survive without gravity. We can’t survive without people – to love one another is to be accepting. Accepting of the facts, accepting ourselves for who we are. Our memories are atoms, our body is energy, our mind is the creator of the universe.

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Toxic Love (Poem)

You took her soul, her spirit, her mind

You showed her fake love, love that was blind.

You pulled her into your deepest fears

You reminded her of all the memories over the years

You told her you’ll leave her once she’s in love

Once again she flew, spread her wings like a dove

You told her you loved her and you were the only one who cared

You kissed her goodbye and said she’s worth more than you shared

You told her your friends can’t know about us

If they knew they’d blame her for the evergrowing lust

You waited till her mind couldn’t take anymore

You told her it would never work out like it did before

You would message her on weekends when you were alone and free

Keep her in your room so the world can’t see

You told her everything that you felt was wrong with her head

She analysed this and decided to walk away instead

You told her she’s the only one who you can see

She knew that anyway but her heart holds the key

You left her heart numb, you played with her soul

Her next step was recovery to make herself whole

✍🏻

 

 

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What is love?

Love is undefinable. You think the person you love will always deliver the same you give to them. If it’s imbalanced it is destructive.

As Shakespeare once said “The route of all heartache is expectation” 

You can’t expect anyone to love you but you can always hold on to that inner hope. You have to love yourself first, flaws and all. The broken pieces of you make up you. Don’t succumb to anger because that won’t get you anywhere. It will create a false picture of you.

Love has its ups and downs. We all have different qualities and different ways in which we see the world. We all have values, we are not our mistakes. We are the character that arises from the mistake. We are whoever we wish to be. Sometimes we just have to believe in ourselves. Love grows, just like a seed awaiting the sunshine and water. Just like the seasons change. Just like the weather changes. Change is inevitable. Change is something we all have to deal with in our lives whether we want to or not. Change is a blessing in disguise. Change is something we have to be uncomfortable with in order to grow, to realise, to deal with.

It’s natural. Oxytocin is a powerful chemical and it can take over the mind of the most empathetic person.

So you’ve made mistakes in your relationships? You’ve questioned your sanity? You’ve portrayed the unexpected? Those are previous circumstances that don’t define you. Have hope for a positive and loving future. Forgive those who have hurt you in life through actions but share awareness of how those actions can affect the mental health of others.

You know the saying “Don’t mix business with pleasure” – it’s because compassion and love should be private but business should be shared with the world to contribute to new discoveries, new developments, new projects. Something that will shape our future generations.

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A million pieces of glass📝

The heart weeped. It’s shattered. It’s bruised. It hoped.It looked. It found. It lost. It moped.

The tears fell. It’s endless. It’s dried. It’s condensated. It’s hell.

The body ached. It’s weak. It’s hurt. It’s painful. It’s bleak.

The memories split. It’s disorientated. It’s confused. It’s recalling. It’s used.

Your confidence drowned. It’s dissociative. It’s lonely. It’s invisible. It’s sound.

You found love. It’s scared. It’s unpromising. It’s repetitive. It’s shared.

You lost trust. It’s replaced. It’s moving. It’s glass. It’s lust.

 

 

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A solemn night 💫

Chapter One

She took one last step towards him. Her heart jumped at the sight of her illusions. She was questioning herself. She was wondering by unexpectedly. She felt love for him with no understanding of why. This left her craving more. She realised she had absorbed his personality traits and her brain would never be the same.

It began on a cold winter morning. Owls hooted and crickets chirped.  The sun a pale yellow rising above the mist. The atmosphere was quiet and the air had a delicate warmth in its blow. I felt I had exhausted all efforts in trying to rebuild my life. I was lonely. But not lonely as in craving another person to fill my void, lonely as in lacking the capacity to make good appropriate decisions.  I had just left my family home after a disagreement. I felt abandoned, prejudiced, alone. I wanted to find a quiet spot to relax my thoughts and deal with my pain in solitude but everywhere I turned I had the darkest memories of pain reflecting images of anticipation in my environment. I didn’t see the world the way others did back then. I was avoidant. Avoidant of anyone who would bring me pain. Avoidant of anything that would disrupt my thought processes. Avoidant of anything uncomfortable that suffocated me. Avoidant of the my loving inner virtues like something had blocked my ability to love myself and who I was. I was confused. I couldn’t understand back then. I was seventeen. I had just finished my GCSE’s with a high mark in History.  History was my favourite subject because I liked the way evolution had evolved, how technology had camouflaged the art of survival. It was then I knew I still was using my primitive brain. I wanted it to be manipulated to blend in with social norms, I wanted it to stop being fearful of my past. I wanted by brain to stop being on the lookout for danger but it never complied with my conscience. It was then I moved back to my fathers. I had just come out of a relationship that didn’t end well. I loved this man a lot but I was too unstable within the relationship so he ended it with me. I felt rejected. I felt like I wasn’t deserving of love. He had a strong deameanour which I valued. It was never going to work out so that night I cried myself to sleep hoping that one day I’d have a stable relationship with value and consistency. It was then I met him. An unexpected encounter. I was about to embark on a destructive path.

 

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Ernest Hemingway 📜

Ernest Hemingway spoke from the soul. He struggled greatly throughout his life, put his thoughts in writing, and reached millions of people around the world until his life ended in tragedy from bipolar disorder. Let’s make his work proud. Fulfil his desires of what he wished to see in the world:

Below are a few quotes I’d like to share that inspired me to create this blog:

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The literature interpretation of this quote is how creativity can be influenced by sociological, biological, genetic and environmental factors. It resonates deeply with my personal inner pain. 

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The literature interpretation of this text is if you’re seen as having capacity in your ability to write you are looked at as if you’re not suffering at all – your mood is considered affect reactive when in many instances it isnt acknowledgable from the public eye. He also is explaining how happiness is rare in people who create because depressive illnesses give a better view of reality. 

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