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How do you want to be loved?

My idea of a relationship is someone who will never give up on you no matter how hard it is, someone who appreciates you for your flaws, someone who enjoys walks in nature with a kind loving heart, someone who thinks of me as worthy rather than an option.

Although we all dream of this the reality is quite lonesome. I’ve stayed single for an extremely long time because what I look for in a person are the emotions that money can not buy. In this society people expect you to not have any baggage, to bounce from one person to the next when I cannot be that person and I won’t. I will not have multiple relationships under any circumstances because that isn’t stability.

I haven’t met the right one yet and people say to me all the time that I’m beautiful and someone will be lucky to have me and I’ll find someone easily. If there’s no connection I will not sleep with them or waste my time because the last thing this world needs is any more broken hearts.

Yes I’m a borderline, it doesn’t mean we jump from relationship to relationship because we don’t. We stand and we deal. We fight for ourselves. We fight for love, compassion and to bring this world back to a sociable, loving state.

I have no apologies for who I am.

This is me.

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Value your emotions because they’re valid

Emotions are gifts. They allow us to feel, they allow us to construct, they allow us to create.

Is this a bad thing? No. Modern society sees normal emotions as a burden to the stability that is trying to be created through sociology development.

We are transforming people into robots to care only about themselves without acknowledging that emotions are extremely valid and real. Technology is amazing if used in the right manner.

People can judge you based on a negative emotion you have without identifying the cause behind the negative emotion.

For example. Let’s say you were bullied in your occupation for a health condition and this lowered your self-esteem and impacted on your ability to perform a task. You then react angrily and that’s regarded as the ‘person’ you are.

Would you allow this judgement to effect and control your life? Or would you dust yourself off and remember your worth?

The choice is yours. Remember being human is a gift. We all have different appearances, skills, ambitions – imagine how amazing the world would be if we used that to our advantage.

Replace the negative with the positive. Watch yourself transform into the best version of yourself.

Never give up.

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Shakespeare wrote about narcissm 🎭

I was analysing some brilliant works composed by Shakespeare and realised that in one of his plays, Macbeth, Macbeth had murdered three people that affected Lady Macbeth and deteriorated her mental health. Her mental health rapidly declined.

This was going back when social media, photographs and television sets weren’t invented yet. Shakespeare wrote about narcissm and the affects of mental health in his own unique language from his own perspective. What happened to Shakespeare’s lost play? What did he experience in his life for him to write? All this is highly interesting in looking at the evolution of psychological behaviours. This is a pure example of how we can combine science with creativity and converge these sectors together.

Narcissists have no issue with death or killing others for personal gain, sense of control or power. If anyone protests against a real narcissist there will be social war and extreme velocity. They can remain calm and stable because their emotions are tucked away in the iceberg of their traumatic history. They are charming at face value and can use language to manipulate their victims into giving in to their demands.

Normal people don’t believe such psychopathy exists because they blend in. That’s the true meaning of narcissm.

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Using the environment to describe mental health💙

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I took some rather splendid photographs of Central London this week for my research portfolio which I plan to use to describe mental health using the environment as a visual perspective.

How does this work? 

You travel to a place that means something to you personally. It can be local, abroad, or even in your own home.

You take a photograph of that place. They say every picture speaks a thousand words! 

So what do we do next . . .

Any ideas? 

1. Look at the photograph above. Just look at it. Take in all the information visually. Really feel the historical vibe and the patterns of Shakespeare’s famous Globe Theatre. What does the photograph represent? Imagine what you believe is inside that building. This is an exercise designed to look at our inner selves and is a critical thinking exercise. Everyone will have a unique perception of what they feel would be inside. . . So really take a look at it. What does the building mean to you?

How does this relate to mental health do you ask?

This is when we come to step two:

2. Write down all the emotions and feelings you believe this building contains within its frame work. Write down what you believe inspired the architects to design this building in a certain way.

3. What did you learn from doing this exercise?

💙

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What the narcissist will say about you behind the scenes

Have you ever wondered what the narcissist might say about you in your absence??

  1. I’ve had to deal with a lot you know, time will tell – they will mess themselves up.
  2. He/She just wants my attention – take no notice
  3. I’ve got nothing to hide, I’m innocent
  4. They gave me depression
  5. She/He didn’t love me, they were faking it
  6. After everything I done for them I get blamed
  7. Im going to clear my name you know and I won’t stop
  8. I can get away with it

Borderlines have learned narcissistic traits because they attract narcissm. Without realising it they will express the narcissistic traits during high periods of stress but with heart felt emotions whereas the narcissist will express these traits but with a calm and stable demeanour.

Narcissitic victim syndrome is real although it’s actually disguised in the DSM as complex PTSD combined with BPD for the purposes of treatment. A narcissist will only ever say they feel depressed but won’t admit they have any other mental health difficulties which is a shame as with treatment those with narcissistic personality disorder can be loving human beings again although try getting a narcissist into therapy – they may conform to counselling or antidepressants but that’s as far as it goes.

Thats the difference between intentional and unintentional manipulation.

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Borderline Personality Disorder and Relationships

Here’s another post on being in a relationship with a borderline. Borderlines are loving, they like routine and consistency because it balances their moods, thoughts and emotions. They can often seem socially inept but want to socialise without having the necessary interactive skills to because they were so deprived of these skills as children that they grew up with a different outlook on the world. Relationships can be triggers if they are hurt. They can be stable if you respect and love them. They may experience intense pain and distress and their brains may run at a thousand miles per hour in their writing commitments but in the age of social media and social technology is this necessarily a bad thing? Borderlines could be great for business except they attract narcissists because narcissistic individuals have learnt to shut off their emotions and intentionally manipulate others emotionally as they feed off the suffering of others which activates the dopamine in their brains giving them that sense of power – like a mouse loves cheese – a narcissist will attract an empath… but what happens next??

 

The empath will begin to know something isn’t right; the narcissist will flood them with false beliefs by getting to know them more and more and use their weaknesses against them and their past experiences because they know the borderlines have limited support network because of how they are as people. As soon as the narcissist has got the borderline in a position of trust they will switch the situation around on the borderline and make out that the borderline refused to let go. The borderline will then analyse the psychological manipulation of the narcissist and blame themselves until they self-destruct. They will then be seen as manipulative as before they can prevent becoming out of control they will experience intense anger and pre-occupation with the narcissist. There’s no time limit on how long this will last but once the borderline has hit a mental health crisis they know the brain has activated extra activity and they know it has become absorbed. The narcissist will appear stable to his/her peers, point to the borderline and say “I told you she/he was crazy.” The borderline will begin to experience dissociations, the borderline will start to feel suicidal, the borderline will lose all senses but the narcissist doesn’t know how to love because they’ve suppressed their capacity to. Normal people don’t believe such psychopathy exists but it does. The borderline will absorb the narcissist traits during the relationship trigger but the effects will only be noticed once the relationship has ended.

Why do borderlines attract narcissists?

 

Both narcissist and borderlines have good and bad qualities but the difference is borderlines want love and fall in love easily and appear emotionally available and narcissists pretend to love and appear resilient – that’s how they manipulate. Manipulation isn’t intentional in the borderline – it’s a representation of severe pain but why do borderlines attract narcissists?

The most simple answer is because the narcissist has the strong demeanour the borderline wants – hence the saying opposites attract. The borderline can’t help but want deprived love where as the narcissist wants to be able to control and manipulate.

Everyone has narcissistic traits – it’s not always a bad thing. The positive traits are striving for success, we all want prosperity right? Who doesn’t?

Real narcissistic people love death. Death doesn’t bother them. They are so numbed from their emotions that they have a hard time feeling anything. If you ever go against a narcissist – prepare for others to turn against you. The narcissist already painted a picture of you and allowed you to go crazy before you had the chance to defend yourself.

Protect yourself. Don’t overuse the term. Remember. Real manipulation is subtle.

 

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Empath – “How to heal from narcissistic injury” – Book passage

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Live life again 👋💞

Here’s the thing about toxic people – they can manipulate anyone around them to deteriorate their subject’s worth.

The end is just the beginning. Stay strong. Lock your heart with a key – think with your head. 

So you’ve had a breakdown? You’ve fallen under? You’ve surrounded yourself with people who think they know you more than you do. They’re not your people. They’re people yet to find their path or people who bully others for entertainment because they don’t value themselves.

That’s the thing about life. You’ll go through life with “others” telling you you can’t do this, you can’t do that. All you have to do is take a sip of water, gain your confidence back and then prove it with your success. Prove it with your actions. Prove to them you will never allow yourself to raise down to their level again.

The best is yet to come. Apologies don’t mean a thing unless an action is applied. 🤘🏻

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What people think of you is none of your business 💗

People have bought me down so many times in my life and I want to share my story because I take personal responsibility for my actions, I take personal responsibility for my deterioration and I’m moving on from the past and building fresh.

Do not believe people when they try tell you who you are. . . 

Past is past. Whatever you’ve done, whatever someone else has done just remember you’re still breathing. You’re still here. People can only get to you if you allow them to. Knowledge is power. 

Heal from within. Remember who you are before the drains sucked in your soul. Don’t ever allow others to bring you down to a level where you doubt your sanity, where you are manipulated into believing things that aren’t true. That’s not living.

Living is being blessed, appreciative and loving towards others. Don’t be like them. You’re not in alignment with who you really are once you’ve let them destroy your worth. You deserve better.

If I was perfect, I would not be writing this! I’ve made mistakes I’m not proud of. I’ve broken a few hearts which I never intended to do. I’ve fallen for people who wanted me for one thing which is not self-respect, it’s not being worthy of myself. It’s not giving me that future prosperity I’m attaining.

Instead of asking someone why its taken them so long to back away from someone who causes them pain or how can you love someone who causes you pain? Tell them you’re proud they left when they could. 

Love doesn’t discriminate my darling, and I’ve yet to meet a perfect person walking on this planet. Love just happens. 

The right love will come to you when you start believing in yourself and your capabilities. Don’t lower your worth to fit in with those who don’t appreciate you.

Children are not weapons. Children should grow up to be able to make their own sensible decisions. They should not be subject to personal views based on personal experiences because we all have different experiences.

Wave goodbye to those who bring you down and remember how strong you are.

You’re worthy and you got this 💕👋

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Emotions

Do you ever wonder what emotions are?

E M O T I O N S

  • Anger; A reflection of being told you were wrong for something you don’t believe in but can’t grasp the concept or the contradictive view of another – an emotion that forms from an unknown trigger related to your personal experience
  • Happiness; A feeling of elation, a feeling of stability, a feeling that your emotions are either too high or in balance – a gratitude of life’s blessings
  • Sadness; A dark bleak essence of reality, triggered by overwhelming or unexpected events or circumstances such as a loss – either a loss of self or another like a missing piece of a jigsaw
  • Guilt; A feeling of worthlessness, a feeling that you are incapable in some way or another, a feeling that you have let another person down
  • Joy; A feeling of being in the present moment like having a picnic on a summers day, surrounded by loved ones, just enjoying the moment.
  • Love; A connection, a source of completion, a source of compassion, a source of appreciation – a heartfelt feeling
  • Disgust; A feeling of disapproval
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What side of the brain do you use?

 

What side of the brain do you use?

The interaction between both is a game of volleyball, a confusing element within its features, a comprehensive account of our genetics and memory processes…
Skills are what motivates us. Experience is what shapes us. Atoms. That’s all we are atoms.

 

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Is it time to rethink borderline personality disorder?

I thought I’d do a post after seeing a post on Facebook about a kind hearted young girl taking her own life because of borderline personality disorder caused by abuse.

I just want to point out the effects of borderline personality disorder and how it may impact on caregivers:

  • BPD are loving individuals
  • They are not dangerous
  • They are warm and caring
  • They isolate themselves when they feel too overwhelmed, they become angry when they are afraid
  • They experience extreme mood swings when faced with interpersonal trauma and/or distress
  • They think with their heart
  • Its one of the most commonly recognised personality disorders
  • During a crisis the sufferer loses control – as a result this can lead to suicide or intense emotional reactions to triggers that relate to the sufferers interpersonal traumas.
  • They have problems interacting with others and dissociate to mask their inner pain
  • They feel lost and abandoned the majority of the time
  • If intensely bullied/abused may experience delusions and hallucinations
  • Is often confused with Histrionic Personality Disorder, dissociative identity disorder, bipolar disorder, ptsd and narcissistic personality disorder.
  • It’s not a label, it’s neurological and affects the areas of the brain responsible for controlling mood
  • Creativity, drama therapy and music therapy helps with restoring the individual to a normal level of functioning
  • Can affect relationships and are at risk of further abuse
  • Are often criticised by the healthcare professions who don’t understand during a crisis the illness can take over the mind of even the most high functioning borderline
  • This needs to be removed from the personality disorders category because it’s the only personality disorder to have the highest suicide rates and personality disorders start before the age of four -bpd is the result of abuse.