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The aftermath of psychological manipulation

What is subtle psychological manipulation?

My personal definition is the process of transferring underhanded tactics to manipulate an individual using majority influence in an attempt to discredit and restrict someone from making their own decisions and deprive them from their basic needs.

Yes I’ve been through this and survived. The damage is long-lasting but it doesn’t mean you can’t get better. Once you’ve been through the process, lost control, doubted your perceptions and lost everything – use your positive mindset to build upon a new foundation, use your experiences to help others and most importantly never give up! Mental health illness can derive from these dangerous tactics used by skilled manipulators. When you conform to their wants and needs you risk losing yourself. You’re better without their judgement, you’re better without them. When you come out of the illusions that traumatised you interpersonally you can build fresh. Love yourself for who you are. 

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What the narcissist will say about you behind the scenes

Have you ever wondered what the narcissist might say about you in your absence??

  1. I’ve had to deal with a lot you know, time will tell – they will mess themselves up.
  2. He/She just wants my attention – take no notice
  3. I’ve got nothing to hide, I’m innocent
  4. They gave me depression
  5. She/He didn’t love me, they were faking it
  6. After everything I done for them I get blamed
  7. Im going to clear my name you know and I won’t stop
  8. I can get away with it

Borderlines have learned narcissistic traits because they attract narcissm. Without realising it they will express the narcissistic traits during high periods of stress but with heart felt emotions whereas the narcissist will express these traits but with a calm and stable demeanour.

Narcissitic victim syndrome is real although it’s actually disguised in the DSM as complex PTSD combined with BPD for the purposes of treatment. A narcissist will only ever say they feel depressed but won’t admit they have any other mental health difficulties which is a shame as with treatment those with narcissistic personality disorder can be loving human beings again although try getting a narcissist into therapy – they may conform to counselling or antidepressants but that’s as far as it goes.

Thats the difference between intentional and unintentional manipulation.

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Borderline Personality Disorder and Relationships

Here’s another post on being in a relationship with a borderline. Borderlines are loving, they like routine and consistency because it balances their moods, thoughts and emotions. They can often seem socially inept but want to socialise without having the necessary interactive skills to because they were so deprived of these skills as children that they grew up with a different outlook on the world. Relationships can be triggers if they are hurt. They can be stable if you respect and love them. They may experience intense pain and distress and their brains may run at a thousand miles per hour in their writing commitments but in the age of social media and social technology is this necessarily a bad thing? Borderlines could be great for business except they attract narcissists because narcissistic individuals have learnt to shut off their emotions and intentionally manipulate others emotionally as they feed off the suffering of others which activates the dopamine in their brains giving them that sense of power – like a mouse loves cheese – a narcissist will attract an empath… but what happens next??

 

The empath will begin to know something isn’t right; the narcissist will flood them with false beliefs by getting to know them more and more and use their weaknesses against them and their past experiences because they know the borderlines have limited support network because of how they are as people. As soon as the narcissist has got the borderline in a position of trust they will switch the situation around on the borderline and make out that the borderline refused to let go. The borderline will then analyse the psychological manipulation of the narcissist and blame themselves until they self-destruct. They will then be seen as manipulative as before they can prevent becoming out of control they will experience intense anger and pre-occupation with the narcissist. There’s no time limit on how long this will last but once the borderline has hit a mental health crisis they know the brain has activated extra activity and they know it has become absorbed. The narcissist will appear stable to his/her peers, point to the borderline and say “I told you she/he was crazy.” The borderline will begin to experience dissociations, the borderline will start to feel suicidal, the borderline will lose all senses but the narcissist doesn’t know how to love because they’ve suppressed their capacity to. Normal people don’t believe such psychopathy exists but it does. The borderline will absorb the narcissist traits during the relationship trigger but the effects will only be noticed once the relationship has ended.

Why do borderlines attract narcissists?

 

Both narcissist and borderlines have good and bad qualities but the difference is borderlines want love and fall in love easily and appear emotionally available and narcissists pretend to love and appear resilient – that’s how they manipulate. Manipulation isn’t intentional in the borderline – it’s a representation of severe pain but why do borderlines attract narcissists?

The most simple answer is because the narcissist has the strong demeanour the borderline wants – hence the saying opposites attract. The borderline can’t help but want deprived love where as the narcissist wants to be able to control and manipulate.

Everyone has narcissistic traits – it’s not always a bad thing. The positive traits are striving for success, we all want prosperity right? Who doesn’t?

Real narcissistic people love death. Death doesn’t bother them. They are so numbed from their emotions that they have a hard time feeling anything. If you ever go against a narcissist – prepare for others to turn against you. The narcissist already painted a picture of you and allowed you to go crazy before you had the chance to defend yourself.

Protect yourself. Don’t overuse the term. Remember. Real manipulation is subtle.

 

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She kept her head up when the world tried to break her down 💕

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Be worthy

You’re Worthy 💙

Grow

Let Others

Define Your worth

Allow others to

Destroy you, but don’t

Let them

Be that broken piece

Forgive those who played with your mind

Begin Again

You are suffering, I see

But . . .

You failed, I understand

Now read it bottom up !! 💕📝

 

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Empath – “How to heal from narcissistic injury” – Book passage

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Signs of emotional abuse – health and social care

I thought I’d do a post so others can identify the effects/aftermath of emotional abuse in others that I learnt on my health and social care course.

  1. Becoming upset easily
  2. Preoccupation with the abuser
  3. Questioning of self-sanity
  4. Isolation/Losing friends
  5. Unexplained Anger
  6. Irritability
  7. Behaviour Change
  8. Loss of interest in previously enjoyed hobbies/commitments
  9. Self-harm
  10. Self-neglect
  11. Depression
  12. Hypervigilance and jumpy
  13. Fear/confusion of making decisions and choices
  14. Emotion and Mood changes
  15. Lack of concentration/forgetfulness
  16. Physical Withdrawal; particularly in an environment that is a reminder of the abuse
  17. Weight loss/weight gain
  18. Anxiety

If the abuse is prolonged over a long period of time can lead to BPD/and/or CPTSD or PTSD.

Please be aware when the victim is under intense distress it takes time for them to come to terms with a traumatic experience or situation – they may not seem themselves and there’s no time limit on the after-effects of emotional abuse.

People often complain about verbal abuse but subtle emotional abuse damages the lives of men, women and children.

Equal opportunities and communications relevance is a must to safeguard and protect a community as a whole. Some after-effects are so extreme that the victim may even come across abusive and delusional as they’re making sense of their traumatic experiences depending on the nature and the circumstance of the interaction between the abusers and the victims.

This post is for awareness purposes only. 

Protect a loved one, save a life 💙

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Live life again 👋💞

Here’s the thing about toxic people – they can manipulate anyone around them to deteriorate their subject’s worth.

The end is just the beginning. Stay strong. Lock your heart with a key – think with your head. 

So you’ve had a breakdown? You’ve fallen under? You’ve surrounded yourself with people who think they know you more than you do. They’re not your people. They’re people yet to find their path or people who bully others for entertainment because they don’t value themselves.

That’s the thing about life. You’ll go through life with “others” telling you you can’t do this, you can’t do that. All you have to do is take a sip of water, gain your confidence back and then prove it with your success. Prove it with your actions. Prove to them you will never allow yourself to raise down to their level again.

The best is yet to come. Apologies don’t mean a thing unless an action is applied. 🤘🏻

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What people think of you is none of your business 💗

People have bought me down so many times in my life and I want to share my story because I take personal responsibility for my actions, I take personal responsibility for my deterioration and I’m moving on from the past and building fresh.

Do not believe people when they try tell you who you are. . . 

Past is past. Whatever you’ve done, whatever someone else has done just remember you’re still breathing. You’re still here. People can only get to you if you allow them to. Knowledge is power. 

Heal from within. Remember who you are before the drains sucked in your soul. Don’t ever allow others to bring you down to a level where you doubt your sanity, where you are manipulated into believing things that aren’t true. That’s not living.

Living is being blessed, appreciative and loving towards others. Don’t be like them. You’re not in alignment with who you really are once you’ve let them destroy your worth. You deserve better.

If I was perfect, I would not be writing this! I’ve made mistakes I’m not proud of. I’ve broken a few hearts which I never intended to do. I’ve fallen for people who wanted me for one thing which is not self-respect, it’s not being worthy of myself. It’s not giving me that future prosperity I’m attaining.

Instead of asking someone why its taken them so long to back away from someone who causes them pain or how can you love someone who causes you pain? Tell them you’re proud they left when they could. 

Love doesn’t discriminate my darling, and I’ve yet to meet a perfect person walking on this planet. Love just happens. 

The right love will come to you when you start believing in yourself and your capabilities. Don’t lower your worth to fit in with those who don’t appreciate you.

Children are not weapons. Children should grow up to be able to make their own sensible decisions. They should not be subject to personal views based on personal experiences because we all have different experiences.

Wave goodbye to those who bring you down and remember how strong you are.

You’re worthy and you got this 💕👋

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Share awareness but protect yourself and your mind 💗📝

 

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The facts of BPD #SpreadAwareness for better change💙

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Emotions equal strength 💕 A creative piece.

I’m strong in myself. I tell myself that everyday. In between working through my self help books I’m writing blogs, creating new poems, new writing, new ideas, healing myself emotionally by letting the emotions out and not being afraid to shadow them to the outside world through writing. I’m not afraid to be alone. It’s peaceful. I’m comfortable with releasing my emotions healthily. I’m grateful I’m building myself a path. I’m grateful that the experiences I have endured has given me more of a reason to survive and to make something better of myself. I’m grateful for that because without the awareness I wouldn’t have the hope I do now. You may feel damaged at this point in time but this is an in the moment concept. It’s not real. It’s a delusion. This is just a false memory. This is just your brain coming to terms with recent events. This is just your brain processing experiences converging with the memory consolidation process. This is just your brain’s negative automatic thoughts that doesn’t have any association with your heart and personality. This is just your brain. The world is becoming clearer and clearer. Be comfortable.  💗