Forest Imagery

Allow your soul to feel the warmth of the summer air as you close your eyes and imagine an exotic beach surrounded by fields of sunflowers and dandelions dancing in alignment with the velvet green grass.

Your soul feels passion, it feels delight, it is the symphony of the milk way, an inner warmth that only you can feel.

Really close your eyes. Imagine the blazing hot sun shimmering between the trees separating the path from the shadows, forests of soilders standing guard of engraved copper caves watching over the sea guiding the ships and its sailors.

Imagine a safe spot within the forest where you can let go of your thoughts, a feeling of self-control and self-comfort listening to the echoes of natures most glorious species.

A lighthouse with a light bearing a ninety degree view of the soft white sand.

Breathe in an out slowly but deeply for five minutes whilst imaging the beauty of the forest. The forest by the shore.

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Till death do us part

A tree never forgets it’s roots right? Well nethier do people. 

Observation is a gift. It’s a resemblance of being open-minded. I’m not one of those people who says “Get over yourself” or “You’re just being silly” if someone opens up to me about a problem. I’m the type of person who understands real world situations and what I found extremely interesting about my ability of situational judgement is I could look at the whole picture rather than fragmented parts of others. I look ahead. I look into their soul. A true born empath with the power to make change. The power to make awareness to stop abuse. I’m not a perfect person at all. I have reacted out of fear but never intentionally. Real world abuse is consistent and forms a pattern of behaviour consistent in all settings.

Depression gives a broad view of reality. You notice the counterparts of others negative energy, you notice when the tide creeps in amongst the clay modelled sand and then you strategically build a sandcastle from an element of gratitude, a passion for greatness and the willpower to achieve.

I’m self-reflective. I understand sociology. I understand that life isn’t simple. I understand about suicide because I’ve attempted before and survived. Am I ashamed of being unwell in the past? No because I wouldn’t want another soul feeling the way I did. When I look back and think at the people who laughed at me, criticised me, made me feel powerless amongst their peers, made assumptions, used heuristics and biases to separate me from my passions in life I realised I allowed them to do that because I was unwell at the time.

Its like a game of chess. Some people use iterative reasoning to feel comfortable in their lives and some people (toxic people) use strategic interaction to bring down their opponent. Sometimes you have to take a step back to get to the checkmate.

A Special Kind Of Project

Okay, so I had a mental breakdown although little did I know it would open opportunities and possibilities for me to develop myself even further. I’ve learnt so much from aspiring people who are interested in the way I write and have a new advertising project to contend with. To focus on writing makes me forget about what’s wrong with me and think about my worth and capabilities. I want to create a survey designed for employers and managers to find out their views on mental health to get more people with mental health issues in positions that suit their needs rather than be looked at as the label of a mental health condition. I hope to accomplish this by the summer and create my own advert and mental health media website with my own designed templates for better mental health recovery. I’ve been working through my DBT books and been using critical thinking exercises so I can shape my future and get back into work and achieve my goals. Why should I apologise for being unwell at a time I was suffering. Suffering so openly. Suffering on my own because the small minds wanted to break me. Why do I want to be like those negative people. I’m essentially a positive person but with a throwback of trauma except this just shapes my mind to believe in better in myself and next time to be more careful in who I associate with to avoid another crisis. I’m better at working independently but we all have different skills and attributes. No two people are the same.

Just a typical daily life note.

The aftermath of psychological manipulation

What is subtle psychological manipulation?

My personal definition is the process of transferring underhanded tactics to manipulate an individual using majority influence in an attempt to discredit and restrict someone from making their own decisions and deprive them from their basic needs.

Yes I’ve been through this and survived. The damage is long-lasting but it doesn’t mean you can’t get better. Once you’ve been through the process, lost control, doubted your perceptions and lost everything – use your positive mindset to build upon a new foundation, use your experiences to help others and most importantly never give up! Mental health illness can derive from these dangerous tactics used by skilled manipulators. When you conform to their wants and needs you risk losing yourself. You’re better without their judgement, you’re better without them. When you come out of the illusions that traumatised you interpersonally you can build fresh. Love yourself for who you are. 

What the narcissist will say about you behind the scenes

Have you ever wondered what the narcissist might say about you in your absence??

  1. I’ve had to deal with a lot you know, time will tell – they will mess themselves up.
  2. He/She just wants my attention – take no notice
  3. I’ve got nothing to hide, I’m innocent
  4. They gave me depression
  5. She/He didn’t love me, they were faking it
  6. After everything I done for them I get blamed
  7. Im going to clear my name you know and I won’t stop
  8. I can get away with it

Borderlines have learned narcissistic traits because they attract narcissm. Without realising it they will express the narcissistic traits during high periods of stress but with heart felt emotions whereas the narcissist will express these traits but with a calm and stable demeanour.

Narcissitic victim syndrome is real although it’s actually disguised in the DSM as complex PTSD combined with BPD for the purposes of treatment. A narcissist will only ever say they feel depressed but won’t admit they have any other mental health difficulties which is a shame as with treatment those with narcissistic personality disorder can be loving human beings again although try getting a narcissist into therapy – they may conform to counselling or antidepressants but that’s as far as it goes.

Thats the difference between intentional and unintentional manipulation.

Borderline Personality Disorder and Relationships

Here’s another post on being in a relationship with a borderline. Borderlines are loving, they like routine and consistency because it balances their moods, thoughts and emotions. They can often seem socially inept but want to socialise without having the necessary interactive skills to because they were so deprived of these skills as children that they grew up with a different outlook on the world. Relationships can be triggers if they are hurt. They can be stable if you respect and love them. They may experience intense pain and distress and their brains may run at a thousand miles per hour in their writing commitments but in the age of social media and social technology is this necessarily a bad thing? Borderlines could be great for business except they attract narcissists because narcissistic individuals have learnt to shut off their emotions and intentionally manipulate others emotionally as they feed off the suffering of others which activates the dopamine in their brains giving them that sense of power – like a mouse loves cheese – a narcissist will attract an empath… but what happens next??

 

The empath will begin to know something isn’t right; the narcissist will flood them with false beliefs by getting to know them more and more and use their weaknesses against them and their past experiences because they know the borderlines have limited support network because of how they are as people. As soon as the narcissist has got the borderline in a position of trust they will switch the situation around on the borderline and make out that the borderline refused to let go. The borderline will then analyse the psychological manipulation of the narcissist and blame themselves until they self-destruct. They will then be seen as manipulative as before they can prevent becoming out of control they will experience intense anger and pre-occupation with the narcissist. There’s no time limit on how long this will last but once the borderline has hit a mental health crisis they know the brain has activated extra activity and they know it has become absorbed. The narcissist will appear stable to his/her peers, point to the borderline and say “I told you she/he was crazy.” The borderline will begin to experience dissociations, the borderline will start to feel suicidal, the borderline will lose all senses but the narcissist doesn’t know how to love because they’ve suppressed their capacity to. Normal people don’t believe such psychopathy exists but it does. The borderline will absorb the narcissist traits during the relationship trigger but the effects will only be noticed once the relationship has ended.

Why do borderlines attract narcissists?

 

Both narcissist and borderlines have good and bad qualities but the difference is borderlines want love and fall in love easily and appear emotionally available and narcissists pretend to love and appear resilient – that’s how they manipulate. Manipulation isn’t intentional in the borderline – it’s a representation of severe pain but why do borderlines attract narcissists?

The most simple answer is because the narcissist has the strong demeanour the borderline wants – hence the saying opposites attract. The borderline can’t help but want deprived love where as the narcissist wants to be able to control and manipulate.

Everyone has narcissistic traits – it’s not always a bad thing. The positive traits are striving for success, we all want prosperity right? Who doesn’t?

Real narcissistic people love death. Death doesn’t bother them. They are so numbed from their emotions that they have a hard time feeling anything. If you ever go against a narcissist – prepare for others to turn against you. The narcissist already painted a picture of you and allowed you to go crazy before you had the chance to defend yourself.

Protect yourself. Don’t overuse the term. Remember. Real manipulation is subtle.

 

How do we increase our awareness of our selves?

How do we build upon our self-esteem?

  • Write a list of what you value about yourself and how you can make a difference to other people’s lives
  • Write down a list of characteristics you want and believe you already have them
  • Write down a list of positive achievements and attributes you’ve created in your life and how you created them as this will keep the mind focused on creating new ideologies
  • What are your hobbies? Do you confirm to the individual beside you or do you trust your own intuition?
  • If you could have any career you want what career would you choose?
  • Define yourself, take the pen, make a work of art 🖼