The aftermath of psychological manipulation

What is subtle psychological manipulation?

My personal definition is the process of transferring underhanded tactics to manipulate an individual using majority influence in an attempt to discredit and restrict someone from making their own decisions and deprive them from their basic needs.

Yes I’ve been through this and survived. The damage is long-lasting but it doesn’t mean you can’t get better. Once you’ve been through the process, lost control, doubted your perceptions and lost everything – use your positive mindset to build upon a new foundation, use your experiences to help others and most importantly never give up! Mental health illness can derive from these dangerous tactics used by skilled manipulators. When you conform to their wants and needs you risk losing yourself. You’re better without their judgement, you’re better without them. When you come out of the illusions that traumatised you interpersonally you can build fresh. Love yourself for who you are. 

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Storm deja vu✍🏻📝

I wrote this short story when I was in year  ten. I enjoyed literature and creative writing at school and history, creative writing & citizenship studies were my strongest subjects:

I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it so here it goes…

Storm Deja Vu

I opened my bruised bloodshot eyes. The piercing cold air sent icicles scraping down my spine. After a moment I staggered to my feet. I peered around nervously, eyes sprinkling and heart thumping. My heart was thumping so hard, I could feel my veins breaking through my crispy skin. The moon glinted and glowed in the starry night sky reflecting on the calm sea. I walked slowly toward the incoming tide. Feeling the water flow between my toes was refreshing. The soft gentle breeze fluttered past my pale white face. I took a step further into moon-lit sea when all of a sudden everything stopped. No seagulls squawked, waves still flowed discreetly and my torch lost its power. I was in darkness. The only light that could guide me was the shimmering moon.

I slowly walked back to the tip of the beach where I had fallen asleep all those hours before. I was just about to pick up my sandy towel when a roar of wind screamed at me.

‘Are we having a hurricane?’, I thought. ‘No of course we’re not’, I replied to my conscience. Rain began to downpour; transparent pebbles poured from the sky. Waves rushed and flowed faster and faster. Feeling afraid I dropped my powerless torch.

I could feel the wind knocking me to and fro. I thought my heart was going to explode into fine ashes. With anger and frustration I ran up the stone steps by the sea front, eyes spluttering and stomach tingling.

Suddenly a fierce bolt of lightening struck the horizon. My head was spinning so fast I thought maybe I had triggered it. I looked around with anticipation. ‘That’s odd’, I thought, ‘I could have sworn I heard voices.’ I shrugged my shoulders, raising my eyebrows at the same time, pretending to be brave.

At that precise moment spirals of wind blew me backwards. Then, I felt nothing. The sun beamed through my bedroom window; rays of sunlight spread across the entire room. Stretching and yawning I rose from out of bed. I peered out my bedroom window; my insides twisting. How could this be? Dark grey clouds were drifting by solemnly. I looked at my alarm clock perched on my chest of drawers. The time was 16:00. Night was beginning to sneak closer, rain was starting to get heavier and heavier, and winds were roaring in fury. My head ached in pain, the colour of my skin was fading and my heart was evaporating. I legged it down the stairs, one hand on the bannister. Feeling a wave of fear, I switched on the plasma television. ‘There seems to be high pressure moving from the North West with winds reaching up to 120 mph. I’ll keep you updated in the next 20 minutes, this is Callum Board, weather news.’ I stared blankly at the television screen.

The mans voice echoed through my mind. Did I just have a premonition? Then, I remembered. My dream. I had to escape to the beach right away. I raced upstairs, put on my tracksuit then shot back downstairs and sprinted out of the door. The beach was only a five-minute walk away so I thought I would be safe. Despite the fact that the wind was scratching my face, I still walked on. Soon arriving at the beach, I looked about frantically in desperation. ‘Ok’, I said to myself, the sea looking a bit calmer than usual.’ At that point the wind whipped past me like double cream. I fell back, my head smacking on the hard frissioned pavement. A rush of deja vu poured through me as I lay there. By now it was pitch black and the only light to guide me was the round ball of snow in the night sky. Looking down at my arm, rich rouge blood was dripping from my crackling wrists. There was suddenly another hush of wind then a wave. ‘A wave’, I cried. The navy blueness arched over me, then there was a bang, a roar, a crash.

Nothing could be witnessed.

 

 

A self-reflection

She fell into the darkness. Every memory and every sense of breath encapsulates her deepest fears and her most inner desires. Her brain thinking a thousand thoughts. But then she rose. Her brain started connecting patterns. Her brain started to amplify in response to environmental factors but it was still stuck. It was still fast forward. The moods not in alignment with her positivity. Not in alignment with her identity. Oh how she wished for stability. How she hoped her brain would shape back into a normal level of functioning. How she embraced the challenges and tried to set herself free.