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Another day gone

I write this as I’m ready to take the next journey in my life. I don’t want to be accepted. I just want a life.

When I say ‘life’ – I’m all alone. I feel lonely, I feel like everyone around me are having children and I’m just growing through life focusing on positive objectives and occupations that suit my creative abilities except some people look at the borderline personality disorder label and automatically think…well that’s her personality. When it isn’t.

I’ve made so many mistakes in my past that I never intended to do. But I’ve really pulled myself together and on the day I was going to apologise to my previous general practitioner as felt stable – he rejected my appointment because I felt low because of my borderline personality disorder when I was going to enquire about my physical health. Of course he had been supportive in the past but that all changed and we can’t make others understand but in a way I feel really abandoned by the healthcare providers when they do that as it makes me feel like my illness is ‘me’ and not something that needs to be treated.

There’s so much discrimination with borderline personality disorder that it scares me. It scares me because I haven’t got a criminal record; I’ve never intentionally hurt anyone and I’ve always picked myself up after a fall. Is that a bad thing?

Sometimes we wish adults can be adults and understand us. I’m great working with children as have many creative ideas but the fact is the label doesn’t give the illness much justice. It just gives others the opportunity to put you down before knowing who you really are and that’s what needs to change 💌

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Signs of emotional abuse – health and social care

I thought I’d do a post so others can identify the effects/aftermath of emotional abuse in others that I learnt on my health and social care course.

  1. Becoming upset easily
  2. Preoccupation with the abuser
  3. Questioning of self-sanity
  4. Isolation/Losing friends
  5. Unexplained Anger
  6. Irritability
  7. Behaviour Change
  8. Loss of interest in previously enjoyed hobbies/commitments
  9. Self-harm
  10. Self-neglect
  11. Depression
  12. Hypervigilance and jumpy
  13. Fear/confusion of making decisions and choices
  14. Emotion and Mood changes
  15. Lack of concentration/forgetfulness
  16. Physical Withdrawal; particularly in an environment that is a reminder of the abuse
  17. Weight loss/weight gain
  18. Anxiety

If the abuse is prolonged over a long period of time can lead to BPD/and/or CPTSD or PTSD.

Please be aware when the victim is under intense distress it takes time for them to come to terms with a traumatic experience or situation – they may not seem themselves and there’s no time limit on the after-effects of emotional abuse.

People often complain about verbal abuse but subtle emotional abuse damages the lives of men, women and children.

Equal opportunities and communications relevance is a must to safeguard and protect a community as a whole. Some after-effects are so extreme that the victim may even come across abusive and delusional as they’re making sense of their traumatic experiences depending on the nature and the circumstance of the interaction between the abusers and the victims.

This post is for awareness purposes only. 

Protect a loved one, save a life 💙