The council estate I once called home 🏠

A flashback to the past, a remberance of what formed my personality as a child, a detailed account of my imperfect indifference.

I grew up on a council estate in London. I was my mother’s first child – she was only 16 when I was born except she realised I was advanced in my development. I could read at the age of three, I had difficulties with social interaction and comprehension and would often daydream to the point nursery teachers assumed I had epilepsy. This came back clear. This was when I knew I was a borderline. I didn’t have any intense anger growing up – I was more paranoid of others hidden motives. I would be avoidant and apprehensive and constantly be hyper vigilant for any dangers or threats. Mental health say mental health conditions can’t affect toddlers – the reality is yes they can. I decided to choose education and writing as my strength. I loved writing, drama, history and would often write poems or listen to music to help me cope with what life threw at me. I was often comfortable with only a few friends that understood me and I could come across as selfish when I wanted to be isolated but that was just me. I loved the outdoors and my local playscheme and my Pokemon cards: I remember my neighbours, I remember the perfect moments of living in Edgware and what I miss about the estate is it has been knocked down and reconstructed – effortlessly mordernised to fit in with updated society norms: how times have changed, how beautiful the new architecture is but at a new costly price.

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What side of the brain do you use?

 

What side of the brain do you use?

The interaction between both is a game of volleyball, a confusing element within its features, a comprehensive account of our genetics and memory processes…
Skills are what motivates us. Experience is what shapes us. Atoms. That’s all we are atoms.

 

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Is it time to rethink borderline personality disorder?

I thought I’d do a post after seeing a post on Facebook about a kind hearted young girl taking her own life because of borderline personality disorder caused by abuse.

I just want to point out the effects of borderline personality disorder and how it may impact on caregivers:

  • BPD are loving individuals
  • They are not dangerous
  • They are warm and caring
  • They isolate themselves when they feel too overwhelmed, they become angry when they are afraid
  • They experience extreme mood swings when faced with interpersonal trauma and/or distress
  • They think with their heart
  • Its one of the most commonly recognised personality disorders
  • During a crisis the sufferer loses control – as a result this can lead to suicide or intense emotional reactions to triggers that relate to the sufferers interpersonal traumas.
  • They have problems interacting with others and dissociate to mask their inner pain
  • They feel lost and abandoned the majority of the time
  • If intensely bullied/abused may experience delusions and hallucinations
  • Is often confused with Histrionic Personality Disorder, dissociative identity disorder, bipolar disorder, ptsd and narcissistic personality disorder.
  • It’s not a label, it’s neurological and affects the areas of the brain responsible for controlling mood
  • Creativity, drama therapy and music therapy helps with restoring the individual to a normal level of functioning
  • Can affect relationships and are at risk of further abuse
  • Are often criticised by the healthcare professions who don’t understand during a crisis the illness can take over the mind of even the most high functioning borderline
  • This needs to be removed from the personality disorders category because it’s the only personality disorder to have the highest suicide rates and personality disorders start before the age of four -bpd is the result of abuse.