Depression is more than just a low mood, it’s more than a label, it’s more than laziness, it’s not someone’s personality.
Depression is the feeling of helplessness, the fighting to be optimistic, the steady humming in the frontal lobe, the sleep less nights accompanied by its neighbour; anxiety.
When does biological depression start? How does it start? What differentiates bipolar depression from bipolar depression? How do we judge others in moments they lose control, being passive aggressive fighting for help and and met with “Just get on with your life.”
Depression is an invisible sponge, a clouded perception coated in salt. Depression is the heart beating fast, the busyness of the world seeming either fast forward or in slow motion.
Depression is crying every night, depression is an abnormal function within the brain with neurons firing faster than the speed of light.
Depression is a source of pain one cannot describe unless experienced it in their darkest moments. It’s a brain illness; not an excuse.
No one would want to feel that way if they had a choice ♡
Take away the shame of the stigma… Here’s my story of how I defeated my depressive symptoms…
In September 2018 my brain changed. I knew something was wrong but I couldn’t fathom what and would think about everything I’ve learnt and compare my symptoms to my prior knowledge.
Over the years I’ve had CBT, counselling, attended Mind and even an acting group to help my symptoms but nothing was taking away the days and the nights I would cry myself to sleep.
I had positive opportunities going for me but my brain just was a blur of confusion – like a sponge soaked in past instability and traumas.
At the age of 20 others started to notice I was depressed and I was put on fluoxetine which worked for me and I managed to get to a good level of stability. In 2015/2016 this no longer worked for me and I couldn’t understand why.
I was reluctant to try anything else as had a bad reaction to the fluoxetine when attempted to try it again and was diagnosed with seretonin activation syndrome in August 2018.
A few weeks before my brain changed I was sleeping a lot more than usual and I honestly thought the depression would never ease.
Well it has. It has intensively.
No I’m not ashamed that I was unwell, I’m ashamed of how my mental health condition affected me at the time but you know what… Sertraline is working for me after six weeks and I couldn’t be more grateful… there IS a treatment for depression.
That’s when I realised the biological aspects of mental health were not understood. But one day they will be so others can get the help they need.
Sometimes we have to stand up to what we believe in. So if you see me being positive thank Science 🧪 🙌
So we’ve all heard the saying – ‘If you can change your thoughts you can change your life.’
Yes this is true…
Mental health conditions can affect an individual neurologically, physically and mentally that can have a substantial impact on everyday life. Some mental health conditions require medication to keep the brain functioning properly.
We can all change our thoughts through cognitive behavioural therapy or positive thinking programmes… but when does mental health require medication?
Has there ever been a time when you wasn’t yourself? Have you ever felt your brain vibrating? Have you ever experienced personality changes and attacks? Have you ever isolated yourself because of excessive mood swings you couldn’t work out why it wouldn’t stop just by thinking about it? This is more than likely a biological mental health condition.
These types of conditions require medication.
What I tend to find in the present day mental health profession is if an individual has been neglected throughout their life then they are seen as unable to improve their present situation and the past experiences used against them when this isn’t the case because ANYONE can improve themselves and their lives. It takes the right amount of understanding, the right amount of support and the appropriate treatment.
Yes I believe in chemical imbalances because I’ve experienced it. It’s time to end mental health discrimination and change the future for generations to come.
Just a normal day, I woke up, made myself a tea, and did some anagrams to gain interpersonal skills and allow myself to think better cognitively. Which lead me with an idea:
1. Create a spider diagram of one descriptive word in the centre that describes your core personality and create anagrams of all those leaves that stem from the descriptive word that you create. Write them down.
2. Write a paragraph of how you felt about yourself and what you discovered about yourself.
3. Looked at my diary and took my sertraline and listed things to do today in a specified time-frame
4. Completed critical thinking exercises from worksheets I printed
5. Wrote in my CBT record
This is how I grow 💙
Have you ever looked around you and people all stable and laughing, the walls closing in on you, the hallways swallowing your mind whole, like you’re pushing yourself through quicksand, like your brain is slow and grounded, like you have no control over your anger? In the lowest moments do you sit there and listen to the vibrations of the brain looking at the world in a different way, like the sand meets the shore of the strongest tide, a mind that never stops. A mind that never stops writing, a mind that never stops thinking, a mind that is positive but a brain as a competitor fighting for survival – the soul telling you to stay strong and have hope, the world around you getting tired of listening to your inner pain, the world around you believing you don’t appreciate what you have except you do but it’s not you that’s ill. It’s your brain. Except you know this. After many failures you’re aware of this but you stay strong, you keep at your goals and aspirations because it gives you hope and you give hope to others experiencing the same things. You pace, you sit and wonder, wonder what went wrong, wonder why your ears hear differently, your eyes see the world in a different way. You just wonder. Wonder why the stable mind can’t understand how you feel because they haven’t been there. They haven’t been where you are. It’s okay not to be okay. You may not be perfect, you may not have made good decisions in the past but your brain has a power. A power beyond your wildest thoughts. It’s a brain with passion, a brain with emphasis, a brain that has a better insight of reality.
Your dialectical mind is shaping your behaviour. You’re every memory, every book, every experience, every person you’ve ever met entwined within the person you are. You’re effortlessly evolving. You’re building upon radical acceptance, you’ve taken accountability for situations that are unjust, you’ve built walls to protect yourself, you’ve allowed yourself to see-saw between the past and the future without focusing on the present in between. You’ve become neurotic. You’ve become situational, you’ve become an emotional component of the environment and your feelings have become numb. You’ve escaped adversity, you’re on a road to adventure, a road to new prospects, a road to a new future, a road where optimism meets fate and you become who you really are 🎭
Expressing ourselves is essential for our creativity to develop so below I’ve listed ways we can do that improve our writing abilities:
- Think of an object. Create a spider diagram linking words that relate to that object. Include all five senses and emotions when describing that object. Make it as a word count of 300 words.
- Write a short story in third person then revise it and write it in the first person.
- Write about a topic that you feel strongly about and write an opposing piece of literature that argues against that point of view. Find ways to distinguish fact from opinion. Make this a word count of 400 words.
- Do it at your own pace! 💕