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Writing is your safe place

Whenever you feel suppressed or controlled by the world, writing is your safe place. The art of putting feelings into words is a talent in itself.

Been judged recently? Been ridiculed and criticised? Been compared? Been discarded like you don’t even matter?

There will never be another you. People cause the most pain and they can either break us or make us. You’re not the opinions of those who judge you. You’re not a label. You’re a human being with a passion to be part of this world.

Having emotion isn’t a burden. It means you have compassion – a quality that most people have to artificially create. . .

I’m happy today because I’m not in a breakdown. My brains calm. I’m happy and comfortable alone. And I’m not in the state I was in a year ago so I’m already healing.

You can too.

🥰💖

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What does depression feel like?

Depression is more than just a low mood, it’s more than a label, it’s more than laziness, it’s not someone’s personality.

Depression is the feeling of helplessness, the fighting to be optimistic, the steady humming in the frontal lobe, the sleep less nights accompanied by its neighbour; anxiety.

When does biological depression start? How does it start? What differentiates bipolar depression from bipolar depression? How do we judge others in moments they lose control, being passive aggressive fighting for help and and met with “Just get on with your life.”

Depression is an invisible sponge, a clouded perception coated in salt. Depression is the heart beating fast, the busyness of the world seeming either fast forward or in slow motion.

Depression is crying every night, depression is an abnormal function within the brain with neurons firing faster than the speed of light.

Depression is a source of pain one cannot describe unless experienced it in their darkest moments. It’s a brain illness; not an excuse.

No one would want to feel that way if they had a choice ♡

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Mental health Awareness Post

#MentalHealthAwarenessPost
Take away the shame of the stigma… Here’s my story of how I defeated my depressive symptoms…

In September 2018 my brain changed. I knew something was wrong but I couldn’t fathom what and would think about everything I’ve learnt and compare my symptoms to my prior knowledge.

Over the years I’ve had CBT, counselling, attended Mind and even an acting group to help my symptoms but nothing was taking away the days and the nights I would cry myself to sleep.

I had positive opportunities going for me but my brain just was a blur of confusion – like a sponge soaked in past instability and traumas.

At the age of 20 others started to notice I was depressed and I was put on fluoxetine which worked for me and I managed to get to a good level of stability. In 2015/2016 this no longer worked for me and I couldn’t understand why.

I was reluctant to try anything else as had a bad reaction to the fluoxetine when attempted to try it again and was diagnosed with seretonin activation syndrome in August 2018.

A few weeks before my brain changed I was sleeping a lot more than usual and I honestly thought the depression would never ease.
Well it has. It has intensively.

No I’m not ashamed that I was unwell, I’m ashamed of how my mental health condition affected me at the time but you know what… Sertraline is working for me after six weeks and I couldn’t be more grateful… there IS a treatment for depression.

That’s when I realised the biological aspects of mental health were not understood. But one day they will be so others can get the help they need.

Sometimes we have to stand up to what we believe in. So if you see me being positive thank Science 🧪 🙌
#EndTheStigma

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The difference between ‘thinking’ and mental health conditions

So we’ve all heard the saying – ‘If you can change your thoughts you can change your life.’

Yes this is true…

 

But…

 

Mental health conditions can affect an individual neurologically, physically and mentally that can have a substantial impact on everyday life. Some mental health conditions require medication to keep the brain functioning properly.

We can all change our thoughts through cognitive behavioural therapy or positive thinking programmes… but when does mental health require medication?

Has there ever been a time when you wasn’t yourself? Have you ever felt your brain vibrating? Have you ever experienced personality changes and attacks? Have you ever isolated yourself because of excessive mood swings you couldn’t work out why it wouldn’t stop just by thinking about it? This is more than likely a biological mental health condition.

These types of conditions require medication.

 

What I tend to find in the present day mental health profession is if an individual has been neglected throughout their life then they are seen as unable to improve their present situation and the past experiences used against them when this isn’t the case because ANYONE can improve themselves and their lives. It takes the right amount of understanding, the right amount of support and the appropriate treatment.

Yes I believe in chemical imbalances because I’ve experienced it. It’s time to end mental health discrimination and change the future for generations to come.

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Positive activities completed this morning 💓

Just a normal day, I woke up, made myself a tea, and did some anagrams to gain interpersonal skills and allow myself to think better cognitively. Which lead me with an idea:

1. Create a spider diagram of one descriptive word in the centre that describes your core personality and create anagrams of all those leaves that stem from the descriptive word that you create. Write them down.

2. Write a paragraph of how you felt about yourself and what you discovered about yourself.

3. Looked at my diary and took my sertraline and listed things to do today in a specified time-frame

4. Completed critical thinking exercises from worksheets I printed

5. Wrote in my CBT record

This is how I grow 💙

 

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Depression

Have you ever looked around you and people all stable and laughing, the walls closing in on you, the hallways swallowing your mind whole, like you’re pushing yourself through quicksand, like your brain is slow and grounded, like you have no control over your anger? In the lowest moments do you sit there and listen to the vibrations of the brain looking at the world in a different way, like the sand meets the shore of the strongest tide, a mind that never stops. A mind that never stops writing, a mind that never stops thinking, a mind that is positive but a brain as a competitor fighting for survival – the soul telling you to stay strong and have hope, the world around you getting tired of listening to your inner pain, the world around you believing you don’t appreciate what you have except you do but it’s not you that’s ill. It’s your brain. Except you know this. After many failures you’re aware of this but you stay strong, you keep at your goals and aspirations because it gives you hope and you give hope to others experiencing the same things. You pace, you sit and wonder, wonder what went wrong, wonder why your ears hear differently, your eyes see the world in a different way. You just wonder. Wonder why the stable mind can’t understand how you feel because they haven’t been there. They haven’t been where you are. It’s okay not to be okay. You may not be perfect, you may not have made good decisions in the past but your brain has a power. A power beyond your wildest thoughts. It’s a brain with passion, a brain with emphasis, a brain that has a better insight of reality.

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Recovery ✍🏻 🏅

Your dialectical mind is shaping your behaviour. You’re every memory, every book, every experience, every person you’ve ever met entwined within the person you are. You’re effortlessly evolving. You’re building upon radical acceptance, you’ve taken accountability for situations that are unjust, you’ve built walls to protect yourself, you’ve allowed yourself to see-saw between the past and the future without focusing on the present in between. You’ve become neurotic. You’ve become situational, you’ve become an emotional component of the environment and your feelings have become numb. You’ve escaped adversity, you’re on a road to adventure, a road to new prospects, a road to a new future, a road where optimism meets fate and you become who you really are 🎭

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Creative Writing Ideas📝

Expressing ourselves is essential for our creativity to develop so below I’ve listed ways we can do that improve our writing abilities:

  1. Think of an object. Create a spider diagram linking words that relate to that object. Include all five senses and emotions when describing that object. Make it as a word count of 300 words.
  2. Write a short story in third person then revise it and write it in the first person.
  3. Write about a topic that you feel strongly about and write an opposing piece of literature that argues against that point of view. Find ways to distinguish fact from opinion. Make this a word count of 400 words.
  4. Do it at your own pace! 💕
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Integration of creativity with mental health 💙

Since studying my online creative writing course I’d like to share something valuable which has inspired me to integrate creativity with mental health and write to the government to see if we can provide free creative degrees to those with mental health conditions because I honestly believe it would help people identify their own personal needs and what they need help with.
The 4 P’s of creativity are Person, Process, Press, Product. This post is about Person. I’m also using this method for my own wellbeing through my journey.
In creativity ‘Person’ refers to the intelligence of an individual, temperament, habits, attitude, personality, behaviour, self-defence mechanisms, and how we feel about oneself.
So how does this relate to mental health?
Personality: What are your positive traits? What kind of person are you? What do you enjoy that makes up you? Write them down.
Intelligence: Intelligence comes in many different forms. School grades don’t measure intelligence they are generalised. Some people could be extremely practical but lack intellectual ability and some people can be extremely creative but lack social communication skills. Everyone is intelligent in their own way.
Temperament: What makes you angry? What has consumed you? What has preceded with your ability to overthink? What situations do you find yourself in that make you angry and base that on your own personal experience.
Self-defence: How do you react to situations and people that intensify your mental health symptoms? How does this make you feel? What can you do to communicate effectively when trying to establish the care and support that you need?
Behaviour: What do you do that intensifies your behaviour? How can you distinguish your negative behaviours from reality? Write down a list of your behaviours that you want to change.
How do you feel about one-self? Do you have problems identifying your own needs, do you lack energy and have irritability, do you find that stress triggers your symptoms to the extreme. What do you like about yourself? What are your hobbies and interests?
Everyone makes mistakes, I’m not a perfect individual, but I’m inspired to make difference. My traumas have inspired me to use my experiences and use my gift of compassion to deliver new ideas and concepts and not be afraid of adversity because we want change for our children’s future. We want change for stability. We want change. People often criticise themselves for what they’ve done to others that intensifies guilt and it makes us react but we ALL make mistakes – there is no perfect person. But we need to work together to create new ideas to lower mental health rates, I’m leaving the past behind me because I’m doing a lot better on my medication except still have some personal issues to work upon. I’m writing fiction books to express my own inner pain. I’m working on myself because I refuse to allow a mental health ‘label’ define me as a person. I refuse to allow others to define me based on their own thoughts and their own actions. I’m just removing myself from the negative and building a positive future for myself and want others to know it’s not too late to build something new within yourself. 💕

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The lonely tree 🌳

How many leaves does the tree lose before we notice it’s bare? Is it crying or is it smiling? Is it turning over a new leaf? How far does the trees roots twist into the soil of the earth? How much life does the tree have? Is it breathing in oxygen? How many times has the tree felt love and then been left alone? Do the maroon carvings on the tree bleed it’s traumatised history? How many seasons has the tree lived through? How many storms has it survived? Is it just a tree? Or is it a symbol of life?

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Decisions decisions decisions

I often look back at the career choices I’ve made in the past. The subjects I chose to study. The health choices I made. I don’t regret taking a different path to what I should have taken because I wouldn’t have the awareness or the abilities I do have now and what I want to do with my life. I’m not interested in jealousy, bitterness, betrayal, or being the ‘same’ as everyone else. I’m interested in being myself and appreciating the arts, appreciating what I feel helps my emotional regulation. I’m not interested in recreational drugs or the toxicity of alcohol. I’m interested in growth. I’m interested in learning to accept my mistakes and my wrongs. I’m interested in working through self-help books and creative writing and learning. If I could I’d study my whole life but then where would that lead me – study for the purpose of writing. Doing what I love. It’s a hobby. I want to contribute to society hence shared my recent experiences and described some emotions and mental health issues in creative writing form. Maybe because there’s a division between science and creativity? Maybe creative people can use both sides of their brain? Maybe creative people overthink because their brains don’t know what it’s like to be ‘normal’ or slowed down. When you write you have to expose a character’s vulnerabilities; you can end it on a cliffhanger? Would this bring the reader out in frustration? Or would it leave the reader reading more? How do words impact the reader? Are you able to appeal to the wider audience or is your audience specific? Are you often selfless but in pain? Is your imagination a source of intellectual ability or the power of limbic resonance? Do you question and draw opinions of different themes to any given situation? Do you over-analyse? These are all powerful qualities we can improve. I for one can be very contradictive in my writing to expand upon my current views but in writing we can edit, we can build on the new that matches our most unconscious desires.