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Borderline Personality Disorder and Relationships

Here’s another post on being in a relationship with a borderline. Borderlines are loving, they like routine and consistency because it balances their moods, thoughts and emotions. They can often seem socially inept but want to socialise without having the necessary interactive skills to because they were so deprived of these skills as children that they grew up with a different outlook on the world. Relationships can be triggers if they are hurt. They can be stable if you respect and love them. They may experience intense pain and distress and their brains may run at a thousand miles per hour in their writing commitments but in the age of social media and social technology is this necessarily a bad thing? Borderlines could be great for business except they attract narcissists because narcissistic individuals have learnt to shut off their emotions and intentionally manipulate others emotionally as they feed off the suffering of others which activates the dopamine in their brains giving them that sense of power – like a mouse loves cheese – a narcissist will attract an empath… but what happens next??

 

The empath will begin to know something isn’t right; the narcissist will flood them with false beliefs by getting to know them more and more and use their weaknesses against them and their past experiences because they know the borderlines have limited support network because of how they are as people. As soon as the narcissist has got the borderline in a position of trust they will switch the situation around on the borderline and make out that the borderline refused to let go. The borderline will then analyse the psychological manipulation of the narcissist and blame themselves until they self-destruct. They will then be seen as manipulative as before they can prevent becoming out of control they will experience intense anger and pre-occupation with the narcissist. There’s no time limit on how long this will last but once the borderline has hit a mental health crisis they know the brain has activated extra activity and they know it has become absorbed. The narcissist will appear stable to his/her peers, point to the borderline and say “I told you she/he was crazy.” The borderline will begin to experience dissociations, the borderline will start to feel suicidal, the borderline will lose all senses but the narcissist doesn’t know how to love because they’ve suppressed their capacity to. Normal people don’t believe such psychopathy exists but it does. The borderline will absorb the narcissist traits during the relationship trigger but the effects will only be noticed once the relationship has ended.

Why do borderlines attract narcissists?

 

Both narcissist and borderlines have good and bad qualities but the difference is borderlines want love and fall in love easily and appear emotionally available and narcissists pretend to love and appear resilient – that’s how they manipulate. Manipulation isn’t intentional in the borderline – it’s a representation of severe pain but why do borderlines attract narcissists?

The most simple answer is because the narcissist has the strong demeanour the borderline wants – hence the saying opposites attract. The borderline can’t help but want deprived love where as the narcissist wants to be able to control and manipulate.

Everyone has narcissistic traits – it’s not always a bad thing. The positive traits are striving for success, we all want prosperity right? Who doesn’t?

Real narcissistic people love death. Death doesn’t bother them. They are so numbed from their emotions that they have a hard time feeling anything. If you ever go against a narcissist – prepare for others to turn against you. The narcissist already painted a picture of you and allowed you to go crazy before you had the chance to defend yourself.

Protect yourself. Don’t overuse the term. Remember. Real manipulation is subtle.

 

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The broken moon 🌒

What is the meaning of an eclipse?

Is it a partial disturbance of evil covering the light of the stone’s soul?

What is the meaning of night?

Is it to rest our bodies or minds?

What is the meaning of the holes on the moons surface?

Does it emphasise the holes we carry within our hearts?

What is the meaning of a broken soul?

An awareness that there’s a missing piece – a missing part of you that you can’t comprehend. . .

But it’s always the same moon. The same moon we all look up to.

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What I appreciate about my life 💗

  • I have creative writing abilities and the ability to write books, the ability to understand mental health and the ability to be optimistic in the face of adversity.
  • I have the gift of compassion
  • I love creative writing
  • I enjoy helping the elderly
  • I want to start a domestic abuse project to help victims of subtle psychological manipulation
  • I value life and value equality and opportunities
  • I can read, write and have amazing ideas
  • I always pick myself up
  • I enjoy having emotions, I enjoy being human
  • I like to help loving people
  • I have achieved many qualifications in life as my education is my strength
  • I am emotive and can put my feelings into words
  • I challenge the stigma of mental health and hope for a better world
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What is compassion? Daily techniques.

I’ve been working through my compassionate mind workbook written by Chris Irons and Elaine Beaumont when I came across the description of the word ‘compassion’ which cognitively changed my thought process from a negative to a positive:

“Compassion is a sensitivity to suffering in self and others, with a commitment to alleviate and prevent it” 

The questions I am exploring in the workbook presently are as follows:

1. Does the word ‘compassion’ have any negative associations for you?

2. List the situations or experiences where your old brain has been triggered; this means the normal emotions such as anger, irritability, guilt, sadness, joy, defensive behaviours such as fight or flight responses.

3. List your new brain competencies;

Imagination, planning, Rumination, Worry and Self-awareness.

4. List your old brain competencies;

Motives; harm-avoidance, competition, caring

Emotions; Anger, anxiety, sadness, joy

Behaviours; fight, flight and submission.