Set yourself a goal

Some people wonder about their goals and aspirations. A few things you need to ask yourself first…

  1. What are the best characteristics of your personality
  2. What are your hobbies?
  3. What does success mean to you?
  4. What do you classify as your strengths?
  5. How does the present define you?
  6. What is your goal objective?
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The Marilyn Project

Marilyn Monroe, our historical icon, wore her curves with dignity, her smile with force and her clothes with style.

Monroe was abused as a child and grew up with mental health difficulties that lead her to take her own life so many years ago. In the age of social media it’s really important people are able to be open about their mental health difficulties to prevent farther suicides. .

It is happening all too frequently. Why are people ashamed of asking for help? Together we can create a marilyn project to save the lives of millions by doing five simple things. Understand, listen, research, accept, help.

Help each other and save a life.

The Wishing Glass

Wash up a glass sauce jar, cut up little pieces of scrap paper and draw a face on them with the mood you are in three times a day at the same hour for two weeks. Write the date and come back to the jar a few weeks later.

What does the paper say about your moods?

Is there a specific time when you feel more better during the day? Keep a record and write down a list of your abilities, your hobbies and your potential.

Learn new creative skills and share your experiences with others ♡

Daily Drive

This is a personal blog about the way I feel and how I view others which may or may not contradict others ideas and views although this blog isn’t here to change their minds about who I am as a person. Its here to show the effects of mental health illness that I personally struggle with although things have greatly improved.

This week I was involved in a Bollywood film production for the second time, created some mental health gift boxes to raise money for charity and improve young peoples mental health and managed to get myself back into work doing what I love. I’m a gentle soul with big ambition and although you can’t see my struggles I’m gradually learning acceptance which is a dialectical behavioural therapy method; to acknowledge that your emotions are real and they are valid.

Those who don’t suffer with serious mental health illnesses find it difficult to understand because their mindset isn’t the same.

Mental health is so controversial because of conform and adaptation to what is seen as stability that most sufferers end up alone because of the stigma attached to the sufferer with the description of the label.

We need to stop asking What’s wrong with you and start asking what happened to you and what is the cause?

You cannot see a trees roots unless you dig up the soil.

Till death do us part

A tree never forgets it’s roots right? Well nethier do people. 

Observation is a gift. It’s a resemblance of being open-minded. I’m not one of those people who says “Get over yourself” or “You’re just being silly” if someone opens up to me about a problem. I’m the type of person who understands real world situations and what I found extremely interesting about my ability of situational judgement is I could look at the whole picture rather than fragmented parts of others. I look ahead. I look into their soul. A true born empath with the power to make change. The power to make awareness to stop abuse. I’m not a perfect person at all. I have reacted out of fear but never intentionally. Real world abuse is consistent and forms a pattern of behaviour consistent in all settings.

Depression gives a broad view of reality. You notice the counterparts of others negative energy, you notice when the tide creeps in amongst the clay modelled sand and then you strategically build a sandcastle from an element of gratitude, a passion for greatness and the willpower to achieve.

I’m self-reflective. I understand sociology. I understand that life isn’t simple. I understand about suicide because I’ve attempted before and survived. Am I ashamed of being unwell in the past? No because I wouldn’t want another soul feeling the way I did. When I look back and think at the people who laughed at me, criticised me, made me feel powerless amongst their peers, made assumptions, used heuristics and biases to separate me from my passions in life I realised I allowed them to do that because I was unwell at the time.

Its like a game of chess. Some people use iterative reasoning to feel comfortable in their lives and some people (toxic people) use strategic interaction to bring down their opponent. Sometimes you have to take a step back to get to the checkmate.

You’ll want to read this!! Borderline & the INFJ

During my last borderline personality disorder crisis at the time I felt I had no control over the changes within my brain and focused so much on the labels and the permanent factor thrust aside them, I didn’t focus my attention on probability and how my memory can cause my anger.

I’ve built on the new from experience.

I felt at the time well if no one close to me cares the world doesn’t and people are out to hurt me. That’s a negative automatic thought that springs to mind as it was a situation of conflict. This was when I realised the distinction between concentration and conflict.

I realised I was focusing so much on the slanderous negative beliefs that others had labelled me with for being abused throughout my life in more ways than one instead of focusing on my goal which was to separate myself from the mental health condition that inspired me to write this blog.

Ive always loved learning. It’s the most positive part of my memory and I’ve always aspired to go on to achieve better things because I had the belief that I could. I knew deep down I deserved better than what I experienced in my life.

Recently I decided to let go of others false beliefs about me as I realised they were judging at face value rather than looking at causality and helping me and I realised I can only help myself. I’m alone the majority of the time so at first was quite skeptical about the borderline personality disorder diagnosis but then from experience as a sufferer I realised what it actually is. A disorder thrust upon empaths. We were born empaths. We have emotions, we know how to love, we have empathy, we are creative, we are intelligent except our compassionate nature can lead us to be attracted to the opposite of who we are as people and that’s narcissm.

The labels never tell you the good things about borderline personality disorder such as good insight, self-awareness, superb long term memory, able to recall memories since a toddler, creative, has a gift, talent or skill, observant, has superb situational judgement, can stay with one person for a lifetime if they honestly love them back, will continue to fight for what’s right, idealistic and compassionate.

My theoretical view of the psychological personality of Borderline Personality Disorder is INFJ. If you have borderline personality disorder then take the Myers Briggs personality disorder questionnaire on 16personalities.com.

List your results in the comments.

Another’s perspective of you is not your reality 💌✔️

For so much of my life I’ve worried and then it wasn’t until my ultimate nervous breakdown I realised just how much judgement constitutes for the separation of people within society.

Nowdays I see people guided by opinions irrespective of the facts, conform to a group who seem more confident at their false perception of an individual and repetitively deteriorate someone’s worth to the point they leave them suffering but still post the same old pointless memes; “Check up on your friend.”

I’m an extra artist (not a qualified actor). Sometimes people accuse me of being narcissistic in some way as a borderline when we are opposites of narcissistic people. We only have traits from those who suppressed their sense of power within our solemn minds.

Real narcissistic people hate animals but most of the time will say “I like dogs”, love manipulating people for money and have the potential to kill.

That is real narcissm. Narcissistic rage happens when others don’t conform to your standards or do what you want them to do but that’s the only time you’ll ever see a narcissist angry. 💙

Is it harder for those with a high IQ to receive adequate mental health care?

This is a question that wavers me. In the current mental health system; mental health is seemed as the way we think rather than looking at the way the brain corresponds to the different imbalances of chemicals.

We shouldn’t forget that others dedicate their lives to making sure others are safe with their emotional and mental health development.

We shouldn’t forget the stigma within mental health systems either – especially in a way that despises their view except when you try and say it’s not you they think you have the power to control it during a crisis.

During a crisis it is hard. It’s hard because time is a healer. It’s hard because you can lose friends. It’s hard because it can damage your personal life and when the crisis is over you spend the next few years piecing yourself back together again and learning from your experiences.

IQ is separate from what is really occurring within our brain. It’s separate from our thoughts, emotions and experiences.

IQ is just a mixed combination of what we are born with and how we have used our interpersonal knowledge in society.

How to build your own creative business

Step 1:

Research; Carry out your own primary or secondary research to find out what people would like in the overall population. Create graphs, power-points, field studies or even questionnaires to find out how we can build ourselves up to replenishment through what the majority of the population are interested in.

Step 2:

Market; Decide your audience and market and construct/draft spider diagrams of ideas and indoctrinate this in a presentation.

Step 3:

Pitch; Pitch your finalised idea and product and buy a business book to teach yourself how to make money from your new idea and introduce the finalised product or service to the wider community.

The borderline wants love

The borderline wants love.

They suffered a lack of it. Their emotions are intensified as they were never taught how to love property but met with shame and pain.

The borderline wants forgiveness. The borderline wants to find the inner peace of the world within theirselves. The borderline is both discouraged and courageous.

The borderline has built a fortress out of cobbles and darkness and pushed through with positivity; except they react when people hurt them. The borderlines were placed on this earth to teach others its better to love. We can see it as a gift or a curse. I choose to see it as a gift because it means we can love even if we do struggle with interaction with others and have bipolar based mood swings. We are the warriors of present civilisation because we have to battle through the sunshine and the snow at different intervals within our lives waiting for someone to bless us with stability, bless us with love and bless us with the gift to be part of a group.

That’s the beauty of the borderline.

Have you ever let a friend down because of your anxiety?

I have, and this has always given me tremendous guilt. Guilt because when my brain doesn’t want to co-operate and you’re worried about how you will seem.

You just want to apologise to your friend’s but they understand when you’re not well but slowly they begin to walk away from you like you’re a burden that just intensifies your pain and gives your brain that shudder it doesn’t want to feel.

A vibration and a gulp.

A cognitive distortion and overgeneralisation resulting in four factors.

Anxiety, sadness, helplessness and depression.

It’s always better to just go for any positive opportunity you can because you may surprise yourself at your abilities. You may get there and realise not everything is bad as it seems. Be in a safe environment where you can feel loved and cared for and can project your positive emotions on to others is always the way to go.

If only I could apologise to my friends. If only I could make up for the lost hours when I hid myself away. If only I could apologise to the opportunities in the past.

If only medical professionals accepted me for who I was. If only I could become successful when describing my pain to at least help someone out there.

I hear you, I know you’re struggling.

I feel you, I can feel your pain.

I see you, I can visualise your trauma.

♥️💌♥️

Does it matter what others think about us?

As a borderline I often worry about what others think of me. How they see my image. How they see me as me. Are they able to see my struggles although more often than not I’m met with – you look fine. You’re okay.

You tend to look deeper at your inner self at this point and overanalyse and overthink pushing yourself into oblivion, pushing yourself into the face of adversity looking at your flaws and giving them a label like your diagnosis which isn’t really healthy.

I suppose living with borderline personality disorder is a bit like watching a movie. You cry, you laugh, you’re just like others but with this big passionate personality bursting out in the environment. It’s like our brains are programmed to be too empathetic that gives us the feeling of isolation, that gives us the feeling we must be more adult with our emotions.

Honestly though. Do you think the cave men said right, that person’s got a mental health problem we don’t want them. No. Maybe some yes but overall no. The only priority back then was good, safety and water. Additionally, which I must say… we still adopt the same behaviours and have the same views to teach us how to respond to the environment. Our reptile brains still exist and technology is advancing faster than our brains can cope with. Technology is a beautiful source but it’s still used inappropriately, to judge, to bully, to allow ourselves to misguide ourselves through endless thoughts because there’s always a comparison. Always a sense of fear or threat because people can write their opinions on a platform which is largely based on opinion than fact.