What to say to a borderline during therapy

Psychologists and psychiatrists can play their part in treating a borderline by reorganisation. 

Below I’ve listed ways how:

  1. Replace ‘you are too emotional and take things to heart’ with the words ‘I know you’re struggling, please can you explain to me what happened in more detail and why you feel the way you do? If the therapist is weary of delusions compromising or interfering with the therapy then they can arrange a follow up meeting and ask the same question again for clarification purposes.
  2. Ask a borderline what their creative hobbies are and suggest creative activities they can do.
  3. Remind the borderline they are aware their negative emotions are not intentional but be more parental in a supportive way and suggest ways can  remove the anger from their processes although in times of crisis the anger can be explosive because of the highs and the lows.
  4. Introduce positive communication methods and integrate this into therapy to help the borderline communicate more efficiently in times of distress.
  5. Dont take things to heart with a borderline- they can lose their trust pretty quickly but only because they’ve been hurt so much before.
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Our Creation (poem)

The souls thunder is a memory of defeat

From the enemy that portrayed the darkest hour

It crushes, rejects, the opinions of those who care

For the purpose of money & for the purpose of war

A delicate world on the brink of collapse

Sins magnified and ignorance replenished

The destruction of death

Until it’s too late to make change

We will never know

What peace feels like in the brink of madness

Because selfishness is destructive and may encapsulate your deepest fears

Love is the opposite, therefore opposites attract

Do not compare, or argue with a broken soul

Understand and help them instead

To learn from another is to be re-born

To create a simple future

And a positive world

Einstein…

This is a man who applied physics to real-life situations. To put this quote into perspective what Einstein is referring to is the scientific term “force” – for example; gravity keeps us on the ground; it is an invisible force and this can be applied to words. When you notice patterns within the universe you start questioning the causalities with an open mind rather than follow the crowd with the normalised sociological views.

To listen is to understand,

To understand is to help. Creating change by understanding is far better than judgement for if we try to use force we can break (emotionally) whereas if we understand we are able to help others in life a lot more; apply science to real-life situations and see a difference in the outside world 💛

 

The mind of the borderline

We can create, we can love, we can heal 

We can connect patterns, we have obsessions with positivity counteracting the depression within our brains, fighting for survival on a day to day basis.

The stigma attached to the condition is degrading and decreases the worth of the survivor. Notice how I use the word survivor?

Sometimes all we need is someone to listen to us and understand rather than watch us struggle in our lives with our social functioning and be criticised by the professionals who are supposed to help us.

All it takes is a bit of love and the right communication.

Don’t bring down a damaged soul to the brink of despair. You have no idea the trauma they hold within their hearts ♡

Worlds Apart

I’m moving to Scotland for a better life and new beginning…

I asked for help too much for my mental health symptoms where I live at the moment and put myself in vulnerable positions I wouldn’t have put myself in if I was well enough at the time.

I can hear others be critical. The only reason why borderlines express how they feel so much is because they want the right help especially for their depression which is biological. Sadly no mental health community want to take on the responsibility of investigating possible future treatments which is a shame as just creates unnecessary loss of function, sickness & creates more pain.

Always have a hobby

Perfection doesn’t exist. We are all unique in our own ways. I’ve taught myself how to code over the weekend and found it enjoyable. I even went on a hen night with my cousins and found myself to be more sociable again all thanks to Sertraline.

I look back at all those that criticised my depression when I was fighting to keep myself alive and just think one day they could be I  the same position and experience the same effects. Sertraline keeps me coping it keeps me alive. It balances my neurotransmitters and I’m not ashamed of that.

I’m never ashamed of mental health. I’m not ashamed because everyone has a mental health issue to a certain degree and sometimes we don’t realise how much something can affect us until we experience the effects of what we have experienced.

I’ve always been a borderline but a loving borderline at that. It’s not a “Dustbin” diagnosis but understanding of this mental illness is crucial for developments within psychology.

Let’s create a more fair and understanding world.

Scarcity and Abundance

The first step in emotional dysregulation and self awareness since my borderline personality disorder decided to take partnership back in my life (this time with cptsd that hadn’t happened before after managing to reduce the bpd to traits over the past three years) as I see things in black and white again, is to embrace the positive aspects of who we are. I’m trying to see the grey area between daily. My moods are in alignment with my feelings. My brain is a vibration of chemicals. Crossing the border from scarcity to abundance is one of the greatest things we can do for ourselves. Abundance is necessary for cognition to be in balance with your emotions. Abundance is necessary for healthier development of the body and mind. Too much oxytocin of negative energy is bad for us. This is the black-white thinking of the borderline. We flip between scarcity and abundance in alignment with the environmental input we attract. We love intensely, we are passionate souls but we crave routine, stability and balance – the highs give me creative abilities and access the part of the brain I didn’t know I had. It’s prosperous but suffocating at the same time. Your brain is consistently looking for that balance & if the balance doesn’t match the positive frequency the borderline retreats and isolates. It’s not a personality disorder as such but a biological change in the prefrontal cortex, the amygdala and the hippocampus representing every memory you’ve ever experienced, every thought you’ve ever had, every feeling you’ve ever felt and that’s magnified in accordance with our inputs. It’s highly treatable but the creative aspects of this disorder is too positive for us to want to let go. It is a representation of what we desire. We desire balance and alignment. We want a middle ground. We are the only personality disorder to be effectively treated – it’s not our “personality” it’s a brain illness – an offshoot of Complex ptsd/bipolar – theoretically it’s the borderline between these two illnesses. We are the INFJs of the universe – we are the empaths. Ever watched the film Divergent? It explains the empath in society and how they dont fit into a category.

 

1. Physical Energy – Yoga & meditation exercises

2. Point of view – Focus on the here and now

3. Emotional energy – Focus on creative practicalities

4. Mental energy – Feel what your body needs, add nutrients, diet , replenishment, imagine that frequency. Feel that bliss once again. ⭐️

Criticism of the borderline

Can you imagine strolling through life asking others not to hurt you to only suffer from the after effects of institutionalized discrimination, psychological manipulation and have your life swept from you as if you’re to blame for the abuse you’ve endured out your life.

When borderline ask for help for additional symptoms they haven’t experienced before their past is judged as a reason for the present – like the borderline is unable to heal. Sometimes you have to isolate yourself feeling the depersonalisation, feeling the dissociation being told you’re going round in circles for experiencing emotional flashbacks. . . Complex PTSD can fit your experiences more closely although the efforts throughout to ask for help and support from the care providers can be met with “Its her BPD.”

I’m being raw and honest here because some people fight for survival and positivity. People fight for a life much different from their experiences.

Maybe we need to exchange the indoctrination of what’s wrong with you to what happened to you. Imagine how many lives that will save.

 

The born empath

I was born in Hendon, London, in 1992 to a young mum.

My mum was barely 16 when she gave birth to me. My first memories were mum reading me a story, taking me to the seaside every other weekend when travel was less expensive and my favourite – taking me to the doctors surgery to find out what was wrong with me.

She’s too advanced for a three year old they would say. She can predict things before they happen they would say. She’s too sensitive they would say.  She’s a true born empath. Empaths exist. They’re spiritual souls who dont fit in amongst the crowd but have their own quirky values. Empaths love creating, writing, making, working on own initiative and love. Empaths like feeling. Empaths like intuition. Empaths absorb others emotions and wear them on their own hearts.

 

The anxiety awakens (poem)

I shiver in my night dress

Windows open and curtains flowing

Hearing the rain patter ever so gently on the window sill

A body frozen in the present moment

A mind that wanders into the inevitable past

A brain that squelches beneath the skull

A yawn that is icy and has no echo

Everything is still

Everything is silent

I’m frozen in time

So I wait for a rescuer

Except my soul is cold

My soul is broken

You can see my smile

But you can’t see the shiver in my vertebrae

Who are you to judge?

Do you feel the same way?

Maybe not…

Or maybe so…

Help me in a way that you’d help yourself

Crying. Lonely. Shaking.

No one there for comfort

 

What does missing an antidepressant do to your brain!?

If you have a chemical imbalance within your brain, missing one capsule can have a devastating effect on your health and your life.

I was subject to this. I was wallowing through life, replenishing my soul, afraid to dream of my shadows, afraid to break the eggshells I stepped upon until I spoke up. I spoke up because I had to. I spoke up to save my own life. I spoke up because my soul was fighting for survival. Because of my diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder people were horrible to me about my illness and that’s when I remembered Einstein’s quote; “The evil of the world isn’t those who do evil but those who look on without doing anything.”

I remembered my worth. I remembered that I had a soul. I remembered that I’d never lower myself to the level of those who hurt, betrayed or laughed at me during the difficult times. I fought a battle to explain how some conditions affect the brain except my voice wasn’t heard much. I suppose those in medical power sometimes feel like because they have control it makes them feel better to allow others to struggle. Ever heard of the Milgram experiment? Exactly. There’s very few people we can truthfully trust in this world and ourselves has to be the first because if we don’t look out for ourselves we will only be met with more stigma, more discrimination and an ancient society.

It’s time to make change. It’s time to make a difference. I’m living proof that mental health conditions do change the brain and I’m also living prove a borderline can have empathy. What do I owe to the world? My faith. My charisma. My skills. My passion. My love. Education, respect and dignity to all those who are dealing with their demons in the most extraordinary way.

Keep going because you are strong. We will end discrimination and your talents will shine through the cobwebs that plagued your soul. 💙