A self-reflection

She fell into the darkness. Every memory and every sense of breath encapsulates her deepest fears and her most inner desires. Her brain thinking a thousand thoughts. But then she rose. Her brain started connecting patterns. Her brain started to amplify in response to environmental factors but it was still stuck. It was still fast forward. The moods not in alignment with her positivity. Not in alignment with her identity. Oh how she wished for stability. How she hoped her brain would shape back into a normal level of functioning. How she embraced the challenges and tried to set herself free.


How does music amplify mood?

If you’re feeling depressed listen to a piece of music that is the opposite of the way you feel – this can shift you into mania, feel your thoughts multiplying feel  yourself achieveing and being capable of anything, see so many bright colours, so many lights, do so many magnificent things even when your mood is low. Crazy right?

In the midst of it all you just want to take control and tell yourself to stop but you can’t. It’s so euphoric it feels amazing but depressing at the same time. Is that even possible?

“I can’t help myself it’s human nature, human nature, who says who we are meant to be” – Zara Larsson

You can love the world in a moment. You love the way it’s constructed. You love the different shapes of the buildings. The buzzing of the brain, the prefrontal cortex battling with your soul saying just stop and your soul saying stabilise and calm down please but you just can’t. You just want to Write. Write. Write. You’re enjoying the atmosphere but it’s amaking you agitated and irritable at the same time. You can feel the episodes getting worse but it’s so amazing. You know what you’re dealing with within yourself so you just write and write and write to take off that aggravated edge. Who knew mood swings could be so painful and magnificent at the same time.



A thoughtful note 📝

Do you ever wonder why you would switch creative tasks, change your path within life? Do you ever wonder why creativity would enhance when your depression was manic/hypomanic?  I eventually did some research from the NHS website that states:

“The only psychiatric condition they found to be associated with a creative occupation was bipolar disorder, and the only specific creative profession they linked to psychiatric problems is writing.”

Although you can feel the suppression and the changes you will and shall recover but you will never lose your ability to write creatively. 

Is it possible that this condition is overly diagnosed? You don’t have to have a psychotic episode to have bipolar disorder. Delusions are common but psychosis doesn’t happen all the time with bipolar disorder.

It’s time to spread a little awareness of how mental health affects the brain.



Ernest Hemingway 📜

Ernest Hemingway spoke from the soul. He struggled greatly throughout his life, put his thoughts in writing, and reached millions of people around the world until his life ended in tragedy from bipolar disorder. Let’s make his work proud. Fulfil his desires of what he wished to see in the world:

Below are a few quotes I’d like to share that inspired me to create this blog:


The literature interpretation of this quote is how creativity can be influenced by sociological, biological, genetic and environmental factors. It resonates deeply with my personal inner pain. 


The literature interpretation of this text is if you’re seen as having capacity in your ability to write you are looked at as if you’re not suffering at all – your mood is considered affect reactive when in many instances it isnt acknowledgable from the public eye. He also is explaining how happiness is rare in people who create because depressive illnesses give a better view of reality. 



The divided world

We are all divided in our concepts, in the way we feel about the world, and the way we see the world. We all support different and opposing levels of regime that separates us and in times of chaos we forget that people who are suffering are human and make mistakes except it’s not the mistake that defines the person it’s what’s shadowed in their heart – their deepest insecurities, their passion to make the world a better place, their enduring capacity to make change. Change is inevitable.

Look after your health biologically but more importantly focus on positive things psychologically as these things will make you more aware and help you to grow, to develop, and cope with life’s challenges.

We are the lights within our souls. We are the path we choose to take but not the illnesses we have to compromise ourselves with. Remember we are all different and we are all valued 💙


Ideas for a mental health business – creating a business plan

Audience: Reformers & Strugglers

Reformers: Are enlightened, freedom, socially aware, independent judgement

Aim: To build a business for mental health sufferers

Name of the business:

Consists of:

  • Groups; Counselling
  • Arts & crafts Groups
  • Play area/learning support unit for children under the age of 18
  • Personal gym
  • Play area/learning support unit for children under the age of 18
  • Self-development and self-esteem courses
  • Building confidence groups
  • Emotional & domestic abuse support groups
  • Mental health awareness groups
  • Spiritual Mindfulness groups
  • Cookery and life skills courses



Your past doesn’t define you – what matters is what’s in the moment 💙

The meaning of optimism:

Individuals with depression can be optimistic and have positive thoughts just as extreme as their negative thoughts. This doesn’t define the individual but their expression of pain is the result of chemical imbalances in the brain.

I’ve had a difficult past but want to make a positive impact to the world. I’ve been used, abused, taken advantage of but no one can take away the person I was born as. I pick myself up and move on because I believe I have the strength and ability to do well in life regardless of anyone’s opinions or standardised beliefs.

I create, I make, and I believe – I’ve always been surrounded by an ocean of negative people but I’ll never compare to them 💓





Focus versus distractions ✍🏻

045EE290-A402-44F8-B372-C9E4D43AD5A1How we feel about ourselves projects into the fabric of others perceptions. We are often solitary, we are often confused, our ideas are so complex that our brain has unusual levels of activity and we can succumb to others opinions because we are different and indifferent at the same time.

The brain functions according to the experiences of its input. It is magnified in excellence, magnified in colours, magnified in the complexity of the social norms of mordern civilsation.

One emotion I’ve never felt is jealousy. I’m comfortable in my core identity. I believe that everyone has the capacity to achieve what they want in their life – what I do know is I’m enlightened by my flights of ideas 💗


Exploring emotions through DBT 📜

Instead of acknowledging the negative emotions I feel intensely I’ve used the DBT therapy workbook and listed below the positive emotions I’d like to feel daily:

  • Joy
  • Happiness
  • Loved
  • Loving
  • Pleased
  • Relieved
  • Smart
  • Strong
  • Lively
  • Enlightened
  • Energetic
  • Excited
  • Glad
  • Happy
  • Content
  • Relaxed
  • Hopeful
  • Bubbly
  • Blessed
  • Blissful
  • Curious
  • Delighted
  • Proud
  • Respected

List ways & possibilities to achieve these emotions for a consistent and positive life.


The 4 P’s of Creativity integrated within the mental health sector


Person – 

Create a spider diagram with Person in the middle representing yourself and point the creative influences that define you so for example what you love and why you love that particular objective. Add your flaws/anything you wish to improve.

Process – 

Look at the spider diagram and add practicalities and tasks to do to reach an abundant nature

Press – 

Share your experiences with the Time To Change Mental Health Campaign

Product – 

Create a product that delivers your message you’re representing

Reference: Future Learn


Is borderline personality disorder really a personality disorder?🧐

Borderline Personality Disorder ⭐️Borderline Personality disorder is a type of personality disorder that occurs as the result of abuse or neglect hence fits into the personality disorder category. It is the only personality disorder to show significant active change on MRI scans but from a personal point of view as a sufferer I believe it’s a psychiatric illness that can be relieved through psychological therapies and positive affirmations and associations although there’s no specific drug to treat it yet.

To avoid a borderline mental health crisis avoid anyone emotionally abusive who intends to emotionally abuse, avoid negative associations and negative unstable relationships, avoid too much stress as a BPD mental health crisis can last for a long period of time from experience without intervention or appropriate support.

It is highly stigmatised in health professions because of the way it is portrayed in the media but the illness isn’t an individual’s personality or identity. You can have positive people with BPD and negative people with BPD. Individuals suffering from BPD are not manipulative as this was removed recently in the DSM. The black-white thinking comes across as manipulative and the hallucinations and delusions that magnify during relationships except not all relationships are effected. If an individual is understanding towards your borderline personality disorder then the more likely you’ll have less problems in interpersonal relationships. Personally I feel Borderline Personality Disorder borders between Complex PTSD and bipolar disorder as it affects the same areas of the brain.

You have a variety of skills, you are intelligent, creative and optimistic. You always believe in a better world.


Positive choices and creative abilities 💓

  1. Write a list of the feelings you want to feel that you want to feel daily
  2. Write a list of your goals and aspirations
  3. Listen to classical or meditation music daily
  4. Write down list of hobbies and create a template to commit to those activities
  5. Create a healthy diet plan
  6. Sign up to courses that make you feel good within your soul.
  7. What is your soul telling you? Focus on the way you feel as a person
  8. Write a list of what you value and a list of your positive memories
  9. Join the time to change campaign