A borderline breakdown

Here is the thing.

A borderline will have one breakdown and plea and ask for help but be rejected by those who support mental health as they believe it comprises their whole personality when this isn’t correct – research hasn’t been conducted efficiently enough to take note of the biological changes.

A borderline will pick themselves up and all of a sudden this will be seen as a sign of weakness to those not experienced the same mental health condition?

This is discrimination. This is something that the small minds are unable to understand so they form their own opinion and mistake your strength as a weakness.

Never let anyone tell you you can’t get better or change after a crisis. Build your hopes back up.

I believe in you.

Xo

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A ride like no other

Every breath I take, I visualise the salt in the fresh mid year, tiny particles forming a unique sense of smell in alignment with the rising sun.

The wind wisps effortlessly through my long strands of hair, a drop of the ocean spits at my thunderous skin.

This is the ride like no other.

My creative side awakens

I have my first ever dialogue feature film audition on Saturday. The thing I love about acting is you can portray just about any emotion in a specific context with a comprised script and become a character other than your own. Sounds cool? Maybe? Just?

I am so excited. If I pass the audition it means I’m eligible for equity of the movie that will be released nationwide.

I’m putting my all in to the audition to show the talent that I have. Of course we have to be open to rejection but acting and the creative arts are the occupations that never fail to lighten my heart.

Conformity conformity conformity

If you’ve ever studied psychology then nine times out of ten you would have heard of Milgrams experiment.

If we want to dive deep into the consciousness of our souls we have to look at the social factors too.

Psychology says that a small group of people will conform to an authority figure even if they had done wrong.

Worrying isn’t it?

For example, let’s say a general practitioner failed in his duty of care for a patient and conflict arose. The patient is more likely to be viewed as the problem if the general practitioner gave a false account of events.

Isn’t this enough reason not to allow anyone to define you? Labels are supposed to guide us, help us and motivate us. Labels are not there for discrimination.

To build a better world it all starts from within. Let go of the weights that pull you down.

The world inside my head

I sometimes look back at my past decisions and think of ways I could change some of those decisions, although I always here the same advice: Life is about choices. But what if we made choices that we wouldn’t make if we were well within ourselves?

To me, life is about causality and effect. Holistic and integrative therapies are common in the western world that doesn’t always support the biological psychological theory of mental illness which is dangerous. It’s dangerous because if we are not encouragingly open then we can’t deliver change to future generations for better mental health care.

When I’m low I write a poem. My poems come through me instantly like someone is telling me what to write except it’s all my own work and I speak from the soul. It’s more like a psycho analytical therapy using this blog. I enjoy writing because it helps me balance my thoughts in a cognitive way even when my moods low and hard to handle.

I always wonder if I will ever be good for anyone. I worry about my illnesses affecting them. I worry that I won’t make the best girlfriend. I worry so much because to me love is special and I may have fallen for people who were not right for me in the past or the wrong circumstances I can’t imagine anyone falling for me. I don’t see it in my near future and it does put me off relationships.

My inner spiral

My inner spiral churns at every angle

Wanting freedom from brain captivity

Emotions on cue but moods not in alignment

She paces through the streets

Daydreaming and staring into the atmosphere

Time at a fast forward pace

Everything moving so fast

Ideas coming through like a bolt of lightening

No one understands

How deeply exotic the highs are

How worryingly submissive the lows are

If only she could turn off her moods

Keep hold of her positive emotions in balance with a blissful mood

She would be at peace

Within the Shadows

Within the shadows she lurks

Fighting to see the sun through the moonlight

Capturing her flaws and diminishing her evil

She sharpens her wand

Looking for her next ladybird

A treasure hunt you may say

Or a trip down memory lane

Where the fairies and the gnomes gather

Forming magical lanterns

To light their natural habitat