Hope is a gift. It shields us from the fears that collapse our walls and drown our souls.
Fear is something we collectively build up about something we don’t want to face.
People aren’t afraid of maintaining hope…
People are afraid of losing the hope they would hold on to…
I don’t think strength is being cold and showing no emotion and being bossy or self righteous….
I think strength is embracing who we are, what is wrong with us, standing up for ourselves and saying you know what…your opinions about my illness are just that…opinions.
The facts are we have to struggle every day of our lives trying to focus on the positive. We are afraid of people because we’ve been hurt too much.
When you develop a mental illness there’s no time frame to switch it off, there’s no off button, there’s just ourselves.
When I’m low I hide away but its only to get myself okay again so i can study and work again so I don’t have to face people and let myself down again and again.
People think I’m naive and stupid when they meet me because of how I fear others..they mock me, they laugh, I cry secretly about it but I comfort myself and that makes everything okay for a moment or two. They don’t know I’m fearing them they just see the effects of my flight and fight response.
To those who have ever mocked me. I’d love to be just like you, to not feel as strongly as I do. I’m sorry I’m not your type of person to be around but I’m one talented individual and I’m not a giver upper. I fight and I fight. I may close off for a few days but I fight because I have to accept this as a part of me to be able to accept myself…our God wants us to be strong and to look after the world, not to fight or breed pain. We can do this together.