It has been a while since I posted anything on my blog although today I thought I’d share some wonderful news.
I’ve moved to Scotland although I’m happier emotionally my depression is slowly creeping back, bleak and hollow, sleepless nights and vibrating minds. I get suicidal thoughts every couple of days but distract myself although I’m in control in that scenario. I know it’s my brain just unwell and poorly and it gives me the motivation to beat through it. . .
I’ve met a few of my housemates who are lovely, did some food shopping and wrote a list of wellbeing groups to attend. I am finally settling into my new home although there is one person I miss wholeheartedly. My ex partner. I dont care about what happened between us in the past. He was a diamond in a sea bed of rocks. I always saw the best in him and love him so much although it’s not a possibility to ever get back together it’s like saying goodbye to a good friend.
I shouldn’t have fallen back in love but you can’t stop yourself from just feeling so passionately about someone. I guess that’s life. I suppose that’s why I get annoyed when others consider me to be narcissistic because of my borderline personality disorder when I’m the complete opposite – I feel too much and love too much and it sends my brain into overdrive in a mordernised society although it’s possible to fall in love again but for now it’s settling down in my new home ♡