Categories
Uncategorized

The aftermath of psychological manipulation

What is subtle psychological manipulation?

My personal definition is the process of transferring underhanded tactics to manipulate an individual using majority influence in an attempt to discredit and restrict someone from making their own decisions and deprive them from their basic needs.

Yes I’ve been through this and survived. The damage is long-lasting but it doesn’t mean you can’t get better. Once you’ve been through the process, lost control, doubted your perceptions and lost everything – use your positive mindset to build upon a new foundation, use your experiences to help others and most importantly never give up! Mental health illness can derive from these dangerous tactics used by skilled manipulators. When you conform to their wants and needs you risk losing yourself. You’re better without their judgement, you’re better without them. When you come out of the illusions that traumatised you interpersonally you can build fresh. Love yourself for who you are. 

Categories
Uncategorized

Nature vs the city

I love London – the architecture, the opportunities available, the people, diverse communities, thousands of years of history: All educational subjects converged together in visual sequence. (That’s the way I look at it)

What is exceptionally beautiful about Inverness is the castle, the plane journey over the loch landing on soft tarmac ground – 30,000 ft above the mountains and the clouds – snow capped mountains in spring with a ball of light shining down on the historical verges and valleys.

The rural beauty of Scotland and the densely populated historical culture of London has always given me an insight into different cultural backgrounds and for that reason that’s one thing I love about diversity.

Categories
Uncategorized

Makeover

Shes a wild one ☝️

 

6112E919-A6A1-4F53-B5F5-5E603630048B.jpeg

Categories
Uncategorized

What the narcissist will say about you behind the scenes

Have you ever wondered what the narcissist might say about you in your absence??

  1. I’ve had to deal with a lot you know, time will tell – they will mess themselves up.
  2. He/She just wants my attention – take no notice
  3. I’ve got nothing to hide, I’m innocent
  4. They gave me depression
  5. She/He didn’t love me, they were faking it
  6. After everything I done for them I get blamed
  7. Im going to clear my name you know and I won’t stop
  8. I can get away with it

Borderlines have learned narcissistic traits because they attract narcissm. Without realising it they will express the narcissistic traits during high periods of stress but with heart felt emotions whereas the narcissist will express these traits but with a calm and stable demeanour.

Narcissitic victim syndrome is real although it’s actually disguised in the DSM as complex PTSD combined with BPD for the purposes of treatment. A narcissist will only ever say they feel depressed but won’t admit they have any other mental health difficulties which is a shame as with treatment those with narcissistic personality disorder can be loving human beings again although try getting a narcissist into therapy – they may conform to counselling or antidepressants but that’s as far as it goes.

Thats the difference between intentional and unintentional manipulation.

Categories
Uncategorized

Borderline Personality Disorder and Relationships

Here’s another post on being in a relationship with a borderline. Borderlines are loving, they like routine and consistency because it balances their moods, thoughts and emotions. They can often seem socially inept but want to socialise without having the necessary interactive skills to because they were so deprived of these skills as children that they grew up with a different outlook on the world. Relationships can be triggers if they are hurt. They can be stable if you respect and love them. They may experience intense pain and distress and their brains may run at a thousand miles per hour in their writing commitments but in the age of social media and social technology is this necessarily a bad thing? Borderlines could be great for business except they attract narcissists because narcissistic individuals have learnt to shut off their emotions and intentionally manipulate others emotionally as they feed off the suffering of others which activates the dopamine in their brains giving them that sense of power – like a mouse loves cheese – a narcissist will attract an empath… but what happens next??

 

The empath will begin to know something isn’t right; the narcissist will flood them with false beliefs by getting to know them more and more and use their weaknesses against them and their past experiences because they know the borderlines have limited support network because of how they are as people. As soon as the narcissist has got the borderline in a position of trust they will switch the situation around on the borderline and make out that the borderline refused to let go. The borderline will then analyse the psychological manipulation of the narcissist and blame themselves until they self-destruct. They will then be seen as manipulative as before they can prevent becoming out of control they will experience intense anger and pre-occupation with the narcissist. There’s no time limit on how long this will last but once the borderline has hit a mental health crisis they know the brain has activated extra activity and they know it has become absorbed. The narcissist will appear stable to his/her peers, point to the borderline and say “I told you she/he was crazy.” The borderline will begin to experience dissociations, the borderline will start to feel suicidal, the borderline will lose all senses but the narcissist doesn’t know how to love because they’ve suppressed their capacity to. Normal people don’t believe such psychopathy exists but it does. The borderline will absorb the narcissist traits during the relationship trigger but the effects will only be noticed once the relationship has ended.

Why do borderlines attract narcissists?

 

Both narcissist and borderlines have good and bad qualities but the difference is borderlines want love and fall in love easily and appear emotionally available and narcissists pretend to love and appear resilient – that’s how they manipulate. Manipulation isn’t intentional in the borderline – it’s a representation of severe pain but why do borderlines attract narcissists?

The most simple answer is because the narcissist has the strong demeanour the borderline wants – hence the saying opposites attract. The borderline can’t help but want deprived love where as the narcissist wants to be able to control and manipulate.

Everyone has narcissistic traits – it’s not always a bad thing. The positive traits are striving for success, we all want prosperity right? Who doesn’t?

Real narcissistic people love death. Death doesn’t bother them. They are so numbed from their emotions that they have a hard time feeling anything. If you ever go against a narcissist – prepare for others to turn against you. The narcissist already painted a picture of you and allowed you to go crazy before you had the chance to defend yourself.

Protect yourself. Don’t overuse the term. Remember. Real manipulation is subtle.

 

Categories
Uncategorized

What is altruism and does it exist?

Altruism is doing good for others without expecting anything in return. Only 1% of the population is altruistic statistically. This is why so many altruistic people are criticised for their warmth, their openness, their values and their heartfelt emotions. It’s not a weakness it’s a sign of strength.

I want to do voluntary work for others no matter how hard life has knocked me down, or how many people have left me alone, or whatever I’ve lost in my life. I still have hope in my heart. A hope for a better future. An end of mental health stigma. An end to the suffering. But I’m pro-development. Pro-efficient. I’m capable 💙

Categories
Uncategorized

Misconceptions

Her mind was a pool of imagination, a conflict of abandonment, a source of inspiration that consumed the toxic minds of the opposite attraction.

Was she crazy? Was she insightful? Was she intelligent? Or did her brain just had enough and began to process information inconsistently affecting her thoughts, behaviour and emotions. She didn’t know…

But what she did know. It was the day her amygdala shrunk. It was the day her eyes saw the world in a different way.

Categories
Uncategorized

Being open about mental health isn’t attention seeking 💓

In order for others to have their voice heard there needs to be change and there will be change. We need less discrimination in society and more practicicalities to aid individuals with the necessary life skills to be able to do well with their life. Some people want the help and some people don’t. The first step in getting help is to ask. That’s exactly what I did except was met with “I’ve gone through a lot in my life Natalie, what do you want help with today?” – my mental health crisis. Why would the changes in my brain be related to life events – yes a life event triggered it and I don’t drink or do drugs and the impulsivity of BPD decreases over time so I suggested it was complex ptsd instead although my views weren’t heard and it was put down to the one diagnosis I always had. This has made me realise the austerity in relation to mental health and instead of reacting I’ve accepted their views because voicing my feelings and opinion isn’t going to work with mental health professionals. They don’t understand sometimes that not everything is related to life events although they can be triggers. BPD is a mood disorder and does have suicidal thoughts and mania that rapid cycle within a day. I’m so glad I’m at a level of stability. Either that or I’ve been misdiagnosed but either way I’m proud of myself for getting through the suicidal moments 💗

Categories
Uncategorized

A Borderline Moment

Mental health professionals do not seem to grasp the concept that people can change and improve their lives no matter if they’ve had a previous diagnosis of borderline personality disorder or not. To listen to them tell me who I am when I know what would work for me is practically throwing myself back in the past. Like hello? I had no control over my mood swings for a six month period and was told to not tell them when I feel suicidal when I was suicidal. Why would I waste their time if I wasn’t? Luckily for me the suicidal feelings have passed and my personality is returning back to normal. Sadly my borderline personality disorder did make an appearance again after an emotional abuse incident but it’s so criticised in health professions that a news team have asked to interview me to make change on the misconceptions of the disorder as believe I have a voice that could make a difference for mental health awareness week in May. I’m doing this for others so they don’t have to go through the stigma I had to and so the healthcare professions will listen to the sufferers more. It takes the right communication with a borderline. It isn’t an adjective. It is a serious brain illness that can’t be switched off like a switch. The theoretical knowledge of the condition puts sufferers at risk of further harm because it implies it’s the sufferers fault so if they were to be abused again it is more than likely they wouldn’t be believed because of their diagnosis which is silly. Mental health conditions don’t discriminate and there needs to be better change. If health professionals want to spend less money and tax on mental health conditions then it’s time reform was made.

Categories
Uncategorized

Compartmentalise my being

The elements I hold within myself I compartmentalise into different sectors of society. Anxiety, anxiety, anxiety – how I’m aware it’s in my head, how I’m aware the brain is connected with the body, how I’m aware I’m overthinking the worst scenario. But can we stop it? We can manipulate ourselves to think in a different way through cognitive behavioural therapy and brain training exercises except how do we comprehend another’s personal point of view? Every individual has their own specific needs and qualities. Ask me to write a book and I’ll set a target and complete it. Ask me to pitch an idea and I’ll think up more than a dozen, ask me to build a tent and I wouldn’t have a clue. So who are we? What defines us personally? Where do we fit in in modern society when society has taught us we must all follow the same tribe and have the same social norms.

Categories
Uncategorized

The council estate I once called home 🏠

A flashback to the past, a remberance of what formed my personality as a child, a detailed account of my imperfect indifference.

I grew up on a council estate in London. I was my mother’s first child – she was only 16 when I was born except she realised I was advanced in my development. I could read at the age of three, I had difficulties with social interaction and comprehension and would often daydream to the point nursery teachers assumed I had epilepsy. This came back clear. This was when I knew I was a borderline. I didn’t have any intense anger growing up – I was more paranoid of others hidden motives. I would be avoidant and apprehensive and constantly be hyper vigilant for any dangers or threats. Mental health say mental health conditions can’t affect toddlers – the reality is yes they can. I decided to choose education and writing as my strength. I loved writing, drama, history and would often write poems or listen to music to help me cope with what life threw at me. I was often comfortable with only a few friends that understood me and I could come across as selfish when I wanted to be isolated but that was just me. I loved the outdoors and my local playscheme and my Pokemon cards: I remember my neighbours, I remember the perfect moments of living in Edgware and what I miss about the estate is it has been knocked down and reconstructed – effortlessly mordernised to fit in with updated society norms: how times have changed, how beautiful the new architecture is but at a new costly price.

Categories
Uncategorized

A conflict of values

I’m afraid of lifts but admire the open space

I’m afraid of people yet admire sociology and people

I’m afraid of my past but admire looking towards the future

I’m afraid of inconsistency yet admire new directions

I’m afraid of relationships yet want to be loved

I’m afraid of being left alone but yet love the solitude

I’m afraid of achieving yet push myself to accomplish my goals

I’m afraid of death yet have had suicidal thoughts in the past

How do we change what we fear into building a healthier future for ourselves? Acknowledging our fears, looking at ways we can improve our own health and wellbeing and reading between the lines. Every day is a new adventure, a new source of development, a new opportunity to inspire – turn your weaknesses into strengths.