Decisions decisions decisions

I often look back at the career choices I’ve made in the past. The subjects I chose to study. The health choices I made. I don’t regret taking a different path to what I should have taken because I wouldn’t have the awareness or the abilities I do have now and what I want to do with my life. I’m not interested in jealousy, bitterness, betrayal, or being the ‘same’ as everyone else. I’m interested in being myself and appreciating the arts, appreciating what I feel helps my emotional regulation. I’m not interested in recreational drugs or the toxicity of alcohol. I’m interested in growth. I’m interested in learning to accept my mistakes and my wrongs. I’m interested in working through self-help books and creative writing and learning. If I could I’d study my whole life but then where would that lead me – study for the purpose of writing. Doing what I love. It’s a hobby. I want to contribute to society hence shared my recent experiences and described some emotions and mental health issues in creative writing form. Maybe because there’s a division between science and creativity? Maybe creative people can use both sides of their brain? Maybe creative people overthink because their brains don’t know what it’s like to be ‘normal’ or slowed down. When you write you have to expose a character’s vulnerabilities; you can end it on a cliffhanger? Would this bring the reader out in frustration? Or would it leave the reader reading more? How do words impact the reader? Are you able to appeal to the wider audience or is your audience specific? Are you often selfless but in pain? Is your imagination a source of intellectual ability or the power of limbic resonance? Do you question and draw opinions of different themes to any given situation? Do you over-analyse? These are all powerful qualities we can improve. I for one can be very contradictive in my writing to expand upon my current views but in writing we can edit, we can build on the new that matches our most unconscious desires.

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