There are many websites speculating there is a link between creativity and mental illness. Is it specific to a certain type of mental illness? Is it specific to the individual? Or is it both?
It wasn’t till I had these flights of ideas I assumed am I bipolar or am I just creative?
Acting school must have taught me in some way to withhold my moods from the public eye as when I joined Sylvia Young Theatre School in 2016 I used it as a type of DBT therapy and used graded exposure to relieve my anxiety and depression and they helped me in portraying my feelings to an audience. They helped me to talk about what was on my mind in a creative way within a small group which I found extremely effective. I was happy I had found such a supportive environment for myself to express myself creatively.
I then found a small office job to try develop my confidence to speak to people over the phone because I couldn’t do that beforehand. I wanted to prove to myself that I can whilst helping another person without them knowing who you are. I thought if Sylvia Young Theatre school can do what I seemed impossible with me then I could do other things to help myself. I’m being sensible whilst learning to adapt to the new changes. I’m writing. Which is a beautiful essence in itself. I’m a sole person. I am still growing, still learning, still wanting to be loved where there is a mutual connection although my mother recently said to me “Natalie, you’re a mystery”.
I like being a mystery. I like being odd – I want stability but I want stability in a creative way. I want to write to help others – not to hurt them like some have hurt me. I want to be able to use insightful expression to create new ideas, write stories, write poems, and write write write.